Lindee Parsons

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

So sad that in just a few days bread and dessert will have calories again.

[Felicity @FlossAus]

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running to the bathroom/fridge/bedroom in a single ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ONNNNNN” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

[amandalorian @amandayuen13]

it’s finally october that means michael bublé is defrosting as we speak

[Trey Rowland @trey_rowland59]

*Sunday*

“Man, I’d really like some Chick-Fil-A.”

Chick-Fil-A:
https://t.co/S8eu4VFY4X

[Gerry McBride @GerryMcBride]

My little girl is 2 and whenever she's happy she will just shout out 'HAPPY', there is nothing purer in this world than when she's just sitting playing with toys or eating toast and just yells out 'HAPPY' to let the universe know it's doing a good job

[ᴄ ʀ ᴇ ᴇ ᴅ ᴏ @Alonzo_Creed]

The five love languages:

Words of Affirmation: This is a good burrito.

Acts of Service: I made you a burrito.

Receiving Gifts: Here's a burrito.

Quality time: Let's go get some burritos together.

Physical touch: Arms around a person wrapped in a warm hug, like a burrito.

[lando @NotLando96]

The Lord moves in mysterious ways but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker.

[Lindee Parsons @lindeepars]

@jaimekelley94 @trevajoy SO EXCITED

[Colleen Wright @Colleen_Wright]

me: interested in how the sun shines in our new apartment

boyfriend:

[Queer Eye @QueerEye]

CAN👏 NOT👏 WAIT.👏 Season 2 is almost here!

[Pitch @pitchjokes]

new lacroix flavors!
-transported in a truck near bananas
-hint of hint of lime
-single skittle dissolved in water
-shy watermelon
-imagine like, a strawberry but with low battery

[kiersten 🌞 | BLM! @imnotkiersten]

I’ve had this idea forever now but I’ve never gone to Missouri until today and I bought this song just to make this video, please don’t overlook this, thank you

[eva @evaluvz]

My brother used to practice WWE moves on me https://t.co/5x51Uy3uBH

[Laura @baecerra]

Rate my professor is really something

[Jonathan Van Ness @jvn]

June 15 for Season 2 y’all @QueerEye #queereye

[Chip Gaines @chipgaines]

Hummm.. #meLike https://t.co/eYqQ3OKlSM

[“Matt” @MRP1725]

Trying to make protein shakes but they keep coming out as margaritas