captain court

at ur cervix 👩🏻‍⚕️

[Carrie Courogen @carriecourogen]

The crazy thing about living in New York is that you’ll spend years unfazed and spiritually numb and then you’ll randomly have one (1) HH drink with a friend and spend the rest of the night walking through Midtown East of all places muttering “this is the most glorious city ever”

[captain court @CaptainCourtyy]

@00aarti That’s only because of how you phrased the poll. Nobody wants to be seen as “strict” so of course they will pick casual. The fact that anyone is agreeing with me is impressive on this poll

[captain court @CaptainCourtyy]

@00aarti Anarchy isn’t “casual” and basic rules are not “strict” !!!

[captain court @CaptainCourtyy]

@00aarti You’re biased!!! It’s not strict it’s just how to play!!!

[captain court @CaptainCourtyy]

@00aarti @svershbow Wait actually this is a great idea 👀 I kinda rly wanna drink a blue raspberry frozen beverage and play Deal or No Deal now...

[pjeffa (🦧,🦧) @jeff82874662]

A blatantly obvious claim contravened by all available evidence can serve as a reasonable ingroup purity test

[pjeffa (🦧,🦧) @jeff82874662]

Once you see that “Israel is doing a genocide” is “Trump won the 2020 election” for lefty Dems you can’t unsee it

[ned! @nedsore]

I’m so sorry to scooby dooby do it to you like this but you are fired effective immediately

[𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐾 @misskerrington]

Something about a person who is absolutely unhinged in regular life but completely locked in when it comes to their career is so endearing to me

[json @edgyjson]

women love to ask you if they should “dress cute” when they want permission to wear a slutty little outfit

[Dylan O'Sullivan @DylanoA4]

Joan Didion, every day is all there is

[knafaesque @knafaesque]

I can't fathom why "natural birth" is something to aspire to. Why are so many women obsessed with the idea of not having pain management during a major medical event like what does that accomplish

[bob @bobblegum67]

baby is like the N word for toddlers

[jaclyn is running with delays @jaclyn_bklyn]

this is true for friendships too imo

[Daria 🤠 @DariasRucker]

How it feels to end up in the middle of the dance circle

[Lilly @lillybilly299]

Oh my god he just took it off self driving to swerve into oncoming traffic and run a red light. Bet your waymo can't do THAT

[Aarti @00aarti]

SF Waymo: no driver

NY Waymo: Tesla self driving mode while the driver hits his vape

[Lilly @lillybilly299]

Just took my first waymo! (Regular Uber but the Tesla self drove itself while the driver vaped)

[sydney @demiurgently]

life is all about the 30-40 minutes you spend being goofy with someone you love before bedtime