gentle investor

i am, but a few things.

[IKENNA @kena_ewuru]

Hello @Shalom_HeyEliy I don’t know why people are getting married on your app but can you make it that the man loses 50% of assets and money in divorce. I want to see something 👀

[Adrià Martinez @adriamatz]

It took me 5 minutes to get into the Claude Startups program

And you don't need VC funding anymore

What you get:

- A year of Claude Team
- API credits
- Priority rate limits
- Deals on the tools a startup runs on

How to apply:

- Create a Claude Console account (the API one, not the app)
- Use a company email, not Gmail
- Go to https://t.co/Gp7G1lGpAR
- Fill in the form with what you're building on Claude

Easiest trade I've made all year

[gentle investor @liquidat0r7]

@offixalinvestor If 100m go go far text me barrryyy

[gentle investor @liquidat0r7]

This doesn’t make any sense btw
#lagoslife

[Miracuzzy 🧡 @miracuzzy]

hi @davido

i mistakenly sent you 10 million naira

pls can you send it back to my Opay 😭🙌

8132037170
Opay

[Ex-Grammaton Cleric @OtunbaBrickz]

Hmmm, I’ve actually been thinking about this cos incentives & gamification are some of my favourite things in product development. If I were CBN Governor, I’d fix the inflation in 7 days. 😂 walk with me -

First: I’d introduce a 36% daily compounding tax on idle balances above ₦35m, bcos in LagosLife only Pablos & their girlfriends have that kind of idle money. 😂😂😭

A ₦1trillion idle balance would get absolutely destroyed in 7 days it would become N44b. Still a lot but not 1trillion. Players can avoid the tax by spending, investing or moving the money into savings/bonds.

Second: the tax above pushes large unexplained balances into the Naija Reserve Bank’s Savings & Bond feature. Trillionaire accounts that lock their funds would only take a 35% deposit tax & a 2% daily haircut on Savings & 5% on bonds instead of the full idle-money tax. My regime will be firm but just & Fair 😂😂

Third: 10% of everything collected through the idle-money tax and bond burns gets redistributed to active players based on their economic activity & how much they hold in savings/bonds.

Fourth: 35% tax on luxury purchases and large transfers, with the collected naira permanently destroyed. That pulls excess money out of circulation and should put downward pressure on prices.

Finally: every week the Naija Reserve Bank publishes the total money supply. Everyone gets to see exactly how much naira is circulating. Hacked money becomes much harder to hide when the entire economy can see the numbers.

My monetary policy is simple: if you’re sitting on suspicious billions EFCC will no longer pursue you, I’ll just tax you into poverty. If you’re working, investing and participating in the economy, I’ll pay you for it. 😂 vote for me o!

[trippl 🤍 @tripplset]

my body don calm now 😔😭

[Joice🤍🇧🇪 @Joiceoflagos]

I say make I go ikoyi golf club
I con pop bottles for everybody for 1b naira, this man dm me return the 1b wey I spend😭, say I too poor
Na once I shut up o😭😭

[Wizkid @wizkidayo]

To see pretty shit u got to have pretty eyes

[⚡️ @JameelHassan_]

My therapist said “maybe you need to stop going after very attractive women, a nice 6 or 7 will treat you right” boy I almost cancelled the rest of my sessions…..what the hell are you saying bro????

[The mechanic @autocareplusng]

Wake me up for Hyundai sonata hate at 2am.

I'll be wide awake and ready to lead the battle .

[Ifediche @esther_stan]

Efcc is only investigating rich people without jobs. me wey be branch manager for bank , you think say I foolish?smh

[Janhavi Jain | Building SKIPD @janwhyy]

Guys apply for claude for startups, application approved in two minutes, you get free claude for 12 months

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

im never deleting this app LMAOOO

[gentle investor @liquidat0r7]

@otoide_a Completely against this🤣

[gentle investor @liquidat0r7]

@Alashkid Your own no play🤣

[Mike @osemike300]

Which wan be lagos life again na game 🤣🤣🤣

[Ben @Spar_tacuss]

She think say as i be simp for lagos life i be simp for real life 😂💔