Lisa Pockets

Comedian, Artist, Writer. Hot Pockets ©, no affiliation she/her

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

Lisa stop drinking

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

Roses are red
I broke my drawing stylus
and

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

“You know what I miss?

Bologna.”

Being quarantined with @sweatyboigecko has been a religious experience

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

@jeezjulialouise I’m similar and I straight up am making a twitch account just to livestream me drawing and screaming

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

@jakehasnoshoes But mostly scary

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

@jakehasnoshoes Ok Jake I’m giving u my blessing to date Nathan I think he’d make a great comedian boyfriend

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

@bumble won’t let me make an account for a horse and honestly that’s fucking weak
I mean look at these hot as horse pictures I found and everything

[The Social Room @SocialRoomCoMo]

We’ll supply the mood lighting if you supply the jokes. Tonight at the HI HELLO WELCOME comedy show hosted by @lisapockets
-
9PM. No cover.

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

This weekend I went to a leather daddy bar and had my boobs out the whole time and now I know what it feels like to be invisible
#invisibleman #ElisabethMoss #sponsoredcontent

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

My greatest fear is having the students I TA for seeing me walk out of the classroom and get into my shitty car

They don’t need to lose hope that quickly

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

Why are all the therapists at this counseling center hot? I didn’t go here to talk about my problems to someone cuter than me. Give me a wrinkled shirt Ugo and let’s get to business!!

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

@RNGRizzyENT GOOD

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

Danny Phantom was literally my first nut life is too short to be judgin

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

@aitrionafarm Already there

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

Me, waking up from my nap in the car.
My bf: I came up with a great idea while you were sleeping!
Me: let’s hear it
Bf: funny urns!

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

@sweatyboigecko Isn’t that what makeup means

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

RT if Jesus was a bottom

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

Sorry for running that light officer I was rendered unconscious by that WHITE CHILD’S CORN ROWS

[Lisa Pockets @LisaPockets]

@mariabamfoo you’re performing in my hometown April 5, and I would would love nothing more than to host/open for you! A few of my friends have done so and they say you’re great and your hands are very soft!!

[keaton bell @keatonkildebell]

amy sedaris literally just kicking her shoes off is funnier than anything any man has ever said or done https://t.co/goNZCBazW3