Literally a Plant

I'm an actual plant.

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

Bringing you such hits as:
"The plant your mom warned you about."
"Does this pot make my butt look big?"
and who could forget,
"I can't even chlorophyll my gas tank anymore."

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@Reeseforsure i hardly tweet, but i love you as much as a plant can love a person.

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@ExplainThisBob

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@elonmuskewl I am a full-on racist now. I have no need for news.

[• Angry Frog ™ • @angrifrog]

White Supremacy?

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@BlueChew Nice receding hairline

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@AwkwardAndOdd The GOAT of cheese eating.

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@AwkwardAndOdd Intelligence is relative and dynamic. Learn from this mistake, and you will be smarter in the future!

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@visionbored2 Sorry you thought it wasn’t a joke.

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@Reeseforsure 🥹

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@visionbored2 Do it anyway. Fuck them doctors.

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@kaiallen11 @rosierocket09 @OGMayoMonkey @HenriettaSnacks I really am not surprised!

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@kaiallen11 @rosierocket09 @OGMayoMonkey @HenriettaSnacks How slow? This slow?

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@kaiallen11 @MAGA_JimmyD @OGMayoMonkey @AspectNexus @HenriettaSnacks @rosierocket09

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@kaiallen11 @AspectNexus @OGMayoMonkey @HenriettaSnacks @rosierocket09 If it’s between that half and the half that claims to be victims of problems that don’t exist, i choose the former. Every time.

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@kaiallen11 @MAGA_JimmyD @GhostofCoby @OGMayoMonkey @HenriettaSnacks @rosierocket09 That SYSTEMIC program designed to benefit you. Because of your race. Ring a bell?

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@kaiallen11 @MAGA_JimmyD @GhostofCoby @OGMayoMonkey @HenriettaSnacks @rosierocket09 Like affirmative action?

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@kaiallen11 @AspectNexus @OGMayoMonkey @HenriettaSnacks @rosierocket09 Me and half the country.

[Literally a Plant @literallyplant]

@kaiallen11 @AspectNexus @OGMayoMonkey @HenriettaSnacks @rosierocket09 It’s exactly playing victim. Because you’re not oppressed. At all.