dani

she/her
better to be a daniella than a fart smella

[dani @lobsterchip]

my family achieved the american dream so that i could scroll through all of human knowledge on my phone and be bored by it

[ирис @saltwatermp3]

If we are ever playing chess together and you take my horse you are dead to me. I like him

[dani @lobsterchip]

@Laura_Selberg wouldnt the parent feel worse about not knowing you made a painting of their child

[dani @lobsterchip]

@tweetsbydylan

[dani @lobsterchip]

silk road ass outfit

[chanel @gothdecirque]

Outfit I saw on a teenage white boy at the airport yesterday

[dani @lobsterchip]

deeply upset at the ai “picture with dubs” thing at uw commencement not because it was ai but because they clearly prompted it to generate a husky instead of an alaskan malamute

[dani @lobsterchip]

seattle dog mogs whatever the fuck this is any day

[Largacty3 𓅃 @largacty3]

The American mind cannot comprehend the pub cheese and onion roll

[dani @lobsterchip]

call me chatgpt the way i drink too much water and regurgitate bullshit for college papers

[dani @lobsterchip]

spotify being down when im 5 hours into studying is genuinely making me crash out

[dani @lobsterchip]

@tweetsbydylan me me me

[dylan🧜‍♂️ @tweetsbydylan]

They should’ve had the World Cup final at husky stadium

[͏b͏l͏a͏n͏c @dqveed]

They’re slowly taking away the second amendment see

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Just letting everyone know I’m reading a book right now. I also drank 7 glasses of water yesterday. Im not saying explicitly that I’m a better person than you, but it is heavily heavily implied. Heaven is going to be awesome!

[dani @lobsterchip]

venmoed all my gay friends a dollar for pride month and now im out like $30 but at least im an #ally

[Maria @mlstrat]

i suffer dating as a necessary evil for what i truly love: banter

[dani @lobsterchip]

call me a monkey researcher the way im stroking macaque

[dani @lobsterchip]

@ap33scap3 following for more of the nut

[dani @lobsterchip]

@tweetsbydylan ass too fat apologies

[dani @lobsterchip]

computa make my friends break up with their annoying ugly boyfriends

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[dani @lobsterchip]

@tweetsbydylan HOLY SHIT DYLAN LETS GO