emwilee 🧃

oh shit here we go again // she/they

[emwilee 🧃 @localbitaurus]

this might be the funniest text i’ve sent this week

[alexSSN @alexSSN]

Hey man, that’s really awesome that you saved some of your 4th of July fireworks so you could set them off at noon on the 13th of July

[epic cat looking galaxy glasses @FaggotLabubu]

launching bars of soap with the force of a 9mm bullet out of my moobs like david hasselhoff at the end of the spongebob movie

[Greensboro Police Department @GSO_Police]

Tips to avoid the parasite going around: replace all your fresh produce with donuts because they would never.

[kendall roy’s second wife @princekendalll]

brought up lindsey graham dying on family vacation and my sister asked “is that who sang total eclipse of the heart”

[TSA @TSA]

“It’s not on your website”

Oh, ok... apologies, we didn’t realize you were going to bring part of a FIRE HYDRANT to the airport.

[oatmeal influencer @acechhh]

a new bombshell has entered hell

[cav empty @cavempty_]

are the minions unionized

[💐 deer @mydeermaiden]

you're laughing. my firstborn son, baegel targaryen, my everything, was lightly toasted by way of dragon and you're laughing.

[dack @kcadbackwards]

Phil and Bam Margera are like Homer and Bart in real life

[emwilee 🧃 @localbitaurus]

happy fourth of july to scoops ahoy steve harrington ONLY

[liz 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 (#1 roosewife) @griffithsbolton]

what if the bastard name for the north was poop so his name was jon poop

[leighton @MilenialFulcrum]

We have an English tyrant piñata for the kids to patriotically destroy before fireworks tonight. 🇺🇸

[rated ✧* @imyrated]

this can’t be the same heat george washington was wearing a wig in

[❀ | HOTD s3 spoilers @daecaerys]

So Otto sold Alicent to One Direction?

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

We're experiencing this heatwave because the gates of hell have opened for Mitch McConnell.

[eliza! | phia saban pr manager @sapphifyre]

let her be with her bugs, plants and all things nature 🐞 🍃

[Andrew Woods @JimJarmuschHair]

JACKASS NUNBER 2 is great because you can tell everyone was fucking tired of Bam. It was at the height of VIVA LA BAM and he was so insufferable. They loved fucking with him in that one.

It’s a shame about the falling out.

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

junie b. jonesin for a cigarette

[· @STYLESARCHlVE]

a platypus?? HARRY THE PLATYPUS???