hey-hey-hey-hayden

my dog is my son

💓 09.01.17

💉 05.30.17

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

I never accused my parents of being santa so I'm 22 and still getting presents wrapped in Santa's Special Paper with Santa's Special Cursive Handwriting on the "to/from" card

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

forgot the word for seahorses and called them the prego daddies of the seas

[sara @jumper_krazy]

rt if you grew up going to the library

just trying to prove a point

[attn @attn]

Blaming our problems on scapegoats is exactly what authoritarian leaders want. -- @JoeBiden

[John Harwood @JohnJHarwood]

“Trump Foundation’s largest-ever gift, $264,631, was used to renovate a fountain outside Trump’s Plaza Hotel. Its smallest-ever gift, for $7, was paid to the Boy Scouts in 1989, at a time when it cost $7 to register a new Scout. Trump’s oldest son was 11” https://t.co/edSR0usVVR

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

i'm listening in on a phone call between stef and his dad and he keeps having to take it off speaker so Jeff doesn't hear me laugh 😂

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

walking into a michael's craft supply store blasting summer lovin' from grease was......Unreal..

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

my trans guy coworker after the second guest brings sweets specifically for the pretty girls that close: maybe i should switch teams

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

genuinely just said aloud to this wasp harshing my vibes "i'm a big bear with opposable thumbs and i /will/ end you" like it was Fact.

[Lin-Manuel Miranda @Lin_Manuel]

Gnight.
This moment will pass.
This fatigue will pass.
Tonight will pass.
But look at you, with the gift of imagination.
You can teleport to where you’re happiest just by closing your eyes & breathing.
Then come right back to now, check in with the present.
You magic thing you.

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

@ the four people who paid the rpx surcharge for and went to opening night of infinity war but then left before the post-credits scenes.....wyd

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

woke up to a birthday text from my mom.....it was just a link to "22" by taylor swift.......

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

That face when you just wanted a faster way to rank girls by looks and ended up installing a fascist government in the most powerful country on earth

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

this is like. the third time i've projectile vomited and stef has cleaned it up......i found a good one 😇

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

you know you're sick when you run out of cough syrup 🙊

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

why can i hear the ice cream man

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

my best friend taking her birth control with a shot of bourbon: not the first time, won't be the last

[Kal Penn @kalpenn]

Thank you, Mr President. It's such a relief to know your thoughts & prayers are with the television community at such a difficult time. https://t.co/sFj9VKuRyr

[hey-hey-hey-hayden @localnbcryptid]

@WhitfordBradley #PilnerForPawnee