Stretch Taylor

I code things to make my life easier:

[Stretch Taylor @loncartaylor]

Hey babe, you know what would be really cool? If I dislocated your shoulder 3 weeks before you give birth

[🌴ᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛᴏꜰᴡᴀʀ🌴 @TheArtOfWar6]

When you’re doing a gender reveal and just recently got into MMA

[Guy Swann @TheGuySwann]

• You and your friends would steal 80% of it
• you’d come in 300% over budget and still spend 3x what you taxed
• you’d start 2 useless departments that soak up billions yearly forever going forward
• the entire mess would be riddled with bribes, fraud, and fake daycares
• you’d be proposing a 2nd, 3rd, 4th and then permanent wealth tax to deal with the “gross underfunding” of your corrupt “childcare for everyone” empire.

The icing on the cake? Childcare costs in the US would increase by 40% in 2 years.

[Stretch Taylor @loncartaylor]

@thesportsgully No WNBA?

[Virgil @VirgilsQuill]

I love that we’re the new Rome. Peace with Persia in the afternoon and a gladiator fight in the evening, all on the Emperor’s birthday. Another 1,000 years.

[Magills @magills_]

To all of you New Yorkers, the New York Knicks are worth $10 billion dollars. If we dissolved the franchise we could use that money to end world hunger. Stop celebrating greed.

[Guy Swann @TheGuySwann]

Social security is completely insolvent despite 15% of every person’s salary across the economy going to it. It’s literally empty.

You really want these morons to figure out how to take more?

[Hon. Vickie Paladino @VickieforNYC]

We’re always just one more tax away from utopia.

[Joseph 🕊️ @CaudilloXIV]

they’re putting something in the water that makes you pee

[Daniel Priestley @DanielPriestley]

The thing that winds me up is how Elon has a trillion because he’s set up a system where he forcibly takes 40% of what hard working people produce, leverages it up as debt, spends it ineffectively and does dumb things to win the votes of millions of people who’ve become dependent on his handouts.

[David Zagaynov @DavidZagaynov]

The sheer scale of a trillion dollars can be hard to comprehend. Let me put it in perspective. You would be able to buy 42 miles of high speed rail in California with that much money.

[Patrick Carroll @PatrickC1995]

I agree, it's kind of insane the government hasn't done this yet with its $7 trillion budget.

[xakundo @xakundo]

"THIS IS FOR CHARLIE KIRK"

El insólito festejo de Folarin Balogun. 😳🇺🇸

[Stretch Taylor @loncartaylor]

@airmainengineer Bees?

[Katerina Dimitratos @KDimitratos]

World Cup tourists have discovered New Jersey deli:

[Stretch Taylor @loncartaylor]

@SeanTPendergast Feel bad for me, I have acquired more wealth than anyone (1%) could possibly earn themselves

Woe is me

[Mohammad @MargBarAmerica]

how did people just find about sysco this past year? did no one work in restaurants before? they thought they had a pastry chef in the back at applebees making fresh lava cakes every night?

[Stretch Taylor @loncartaylor]

@wackiestcamper Thanks Obama!

[CBS News @CBSNews]

Social Security is on track to become insolvent by the end of 2032, putting benefits at risk of a 22% cut. https://t.co/mLxXCy2iOY

[megalomaniac @urauntiesnudes]

call it necrophilia the way I crack a cold one

[Καλός @realKalos]

Groups of masked white men in #Belfast are inflating migrant children with helium in front of their families and then letting them float away as they laugh. Please stop. We are better than this.

[Stretch Taylor @loncartaylor]

@kirkjangel Might as well pick up a wicker furniture set and enjoy the ride from Philly to Pittsburgh back there!