bird ☭

what if tweets

[brecht apologist @madison_tayt]

i hope we’re all able to set aside our differences, come together, and focus on bullying elon musk and jd vance into a type of body dysmorphia heretofore unseen by man

[bird ☭ @loneliestegg]

@chriscoffeytalk @NatTowsen @JoshtheWord apparent human testicle with hair glued to it has winning messaging strategy. let's check the record

[bird ☭ @loneliestegg]

@banalplay why does no one know what tear gas is anymore

[bird ☭ @loneliestegg]

@megannn_lynne great work, meg!

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

I’M NOT SOFT I’M VEWWY HAWD

[Aaron Fritschner @Fritschner]

Known dog-killer appears on the loose in Northern Virginia, keep your pets safe folks

[milo edwards @Milo_Edwards]

first ever recorded instance of a sinking ship fleeing onto a rat

[Nate Bear @NateB_Panic]

Turns out Musk's starlink satellites are raining out of orbit at a rate of 120 per month and each one produces 30 kilograms of aluminum oxide which eats away at the ozone layer and these oxides have increased 8 fold in the atmosphere since 2016👍

[cancela lansbury @gossipbabies]

Haunted by the freezing cold 4000k fluorescent lit grey kitchen. Really thought she would be chestnut cabinets w marble countertops in a 2004 way. Liberalism is dead

[bird ☭ @loneliestegg]

@zoloftslut what does that even mean

[GoliathFan1952 @ByYourLogic]

@crulge after I found out he was practically cutting himself after being booed at that Dave Chappelle show, I have a way more open mind about a lot of things. I encourage the writers and Myers to “go all the way” in the direction they’re clearly itching for here

[Keara Sullivan @superkeara]

You do start to appreciate why the Catholic Church’s stance for most of history was “you idiots are NOT allowed to form your own opinions”

[tyler @bearnurse]

In Witcher 4, Geralt should look directly at the camera and say that he’s ashamed of being white

[a knight who remembered his meows @ManuclearBomb]

I woke up to a Palestinian child with half their face blown off nearly every day for more than a year

[Mr. Chau @Srirachachau]

Learning she’s the head of Neuralink. All of this is so weird

[c @_chris_is_tired]

the british press remains undefeated

[Shivon Zilis @shivon]

After all these years, I finally have two brain cells to rub together 😅

[bird ☭ @loneliestegg]

@MasonREO @AutismCapital a cat would not say this