Stephanie

[Khloé @khloekardashian]

@SplufayReformed Hahahaha

[Evil Luke Fickell @EvilCoachFick]

STOP THE COUNT!

[Bess Kalb @bessbell]

This election is a tough call because one candidate was endorsed by both the Taliban and the KKK and the other was endorsed by a broad bipartisan coalition and the New England Journal of Medicine.

[Scary Alvarez @barryisthedon]

Wisconsin fans:

You signed up for this

#Badgers

[Stephanie @lovefischer]

Ok @OhioStateFB come on, this is your chance @Utah_Football lost, @GeorgiaFootball is getting whooped, @OU_Football just skirted by ... you can toss the game?? Lets get two big10 teams in the playoffs?? Pretty please?? Ugh I got my hopes up pls I’m not ready to have them crushed.

[Stephanie @lovefischer]

Made my twitter account public JUST TO SAY OVER-FREAKING-RATED @Utah_Football 5 SEED MY ASS 11-1 and you lost to the only ranked team you played?! LMAOOOO GOOD RIDDANCE ~~~~~

[Badger Barstool @badgerbarstool]

I never finish first

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Wisconsin rowing Paul Bunyan’s Axe on Minnesota’s logo is a terrific troll

[Evil Luke Fickell @EvilCoachFick]

May I have your attention, please.

ROW THE BOAT MY FUCKIN’ ASS

[DaysSinceMinnBeatUW @AxeWeek]

*cracks knuckles*

It feels so good to be baaaaaaack.

[Paul Chryst @BodyOfChryst]

Row the boat my fucking ass

[The Onion @TheOnion]

"Most people just throw out their ‘pizza bones,’ but there’s a ton of flavor still in there."

[Geraldine Just Follow TheEverywhereist on Threads @everywhereist]

You know what? Vasectomies are reversible. Why not just make all men get them? And then if they're truly ready to be a father, they can undo them.

What's that? You have problems with this? Yes, you're right, it's wrong to regulate men's bodies like that.

[MoonPie @MoonPie]

Kissing:
Gross
Tastes like spit (probably)
Ew
No thank you

Eating MoonPies:
Yum
Tastes like good
Not lonely
Not even a little bit

[The Last Blockbuster @loneblockbuster]

Colleen said if this gets 50,000 retweets we each get to tell one customer to shut up.

[Virginia Men's Basketball @UVAMensHoops]

"We have received inquiries about a visit to the White House. With several players either pursuing pro opportunities or moving on from UVA, it would be difficult, if not impossible to get everyone back together. We would have to respectfully decline an invitation.” - Tony Bennett

[Go to Bluesky to save your brain -- L O L G O P @LOLGOP]

If you think fertilized eggs are people but women who've walked their kids 2,000 miles aren't, stop pretending your concerns are religious.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

"Who the hell was I working with then?"

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

Make another suit. https://t.co/mu9w13xsi0