we do be uneasy

hi, hi thanks for checking in I’m... still a piece of garbage

[fishious @fishquichee]

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something please let me know

[Jack @HoeannaNewsom]

When the thing that sounds kinda good on the Mexican restaurant menu is called “The Gringo” :/

[ravn @mfnravn]

please accept my sincerest oopsie daises

[Paige @GRUGCEL]

bouncer didn’t let me into the club because i “bear the curse”. whatever the fuck that means.

[mo :3 @fruitpibble]

sorry babe no sex rn, the groupchat is active and i'm trying to get my joke in before they change topics

[vel @churchmouseirl]

the lion hadnt really thought about it that way

[gougar! @gougaronline]

the lion does concern himself actually

[harm reduction hedonista🃏 @suboxoneshawty]

i have tummy ache

[NateFloof @NateFloofs]

“Humans are perfectly designed”

[Brian Graham 🦬 @iroasmas]

i don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. i did everything right. i drank wine while i cooked. i had a hand towel over my shoulder. literally everything right

[ives @Iveslueur]

me if i was a detective: ok wait omg

[Amelia Ritthaler @ameliaritt]

my southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife & then I go see wicked the musical

[evelyn @portiaspetrat]

ever since i was a little girl ive loved information

[Tarini Bakshi @tarinisarah]

Honestly the only number that 3 really “owns” is 9. 6 is its own thing, 4 takes 12, 15 is clearly 5 territory, 18 & 24 are in the 6 family, 21 is embedded in 7’s lore, 27 only reminds me of 9 and 30 is obviously a 10 multiple.

[phoebe @bottomforhahn]

HUGE day for leslie knope

[Kevlar @CEOofSludge]

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone

[fran @galacticidiots]

I will seduce you but first I have to piss you off a little. It’s all part of the plan.

[alexHD @W0K3_alexHD]

green expert here: this is a good one