Drew Lucas

Actor, Astronaut, Asshole

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

I don’t know why but people who break simple TSA rules like not taking their laptop out of their bags or trying to bring liquids through security infuriate me. Like I’m talking I want them waterboarded on the spot. It’s harsh I know but also fair.

[Koe Wetzel @KoeWetzel]

Bitch

[Brilee Beauford @brileebeauford]

cucumbers and vinegar just hit different

[Wandi @MandyCottrell]

Feathered Indians hits the same every time. Even after the 45764th time. Doesn’t lose it touch. Amazing.

[Drew Lucas @lucas_d50]

@holy_schnitt Thanks for the encouragement

[Country Words @Country_Words]

I wish Monday mornings felt just like Friday nights. -Riley Green

[Drew Lucas @lucas_d50]

3:30, the gentleman’s midnight

[Humble The Poet @humblethepoet]

Y’all complain too much

[Drew Lucas @lucas_d50]

😂😂😂💀

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

No.

[Dylan Farella @dfarella]

I’m really happy these days.

[nydoorman @NYDoorman]

Saying “get this bread” is a micro aggression against people with celiacs

[Dylan Farella @dfarella]

I can’t give you a house and kids, but I can give you an orgasm and a grilled cheese.

[Drew Lucas @lucas_d50]

@carls_barkley15 same

[Drew Lucas @lucas_d50]

@matt_degroot Diggin that head of lettuce, fam

[Drew Lucas @lucas_d50]

what you wear to the airport says everything I need to know about you.

[Coll @CollMeDaddy1]

I'm officially ordained so y'all may actually call me daddy.

[Drew Lucas @lucas_d50]

@Things4WhitePpl This is as Wisconsin as it gets

[Dylan Farella @dfarella]

Wanna come hang out, have some nachos and sex? Kidding, there will be no nachos.

[Drew Lucas @lucas_d50]

All you have at the end of the day is the fucks you choose to give