In a healthy relationship, your partner hears you out if you’re upset, and their goal is to avoid upsetting you in the future, not debate whether you should have been upset in the first place, or make you feel as though your emotional experience is wrong.
best dating advice i’ve gotten was: the signs you ignore in the beginning just end up being the reason you leave later. you know right away who’s good and who’s bad for you, don’t ignore that.
You try to explain “I’m not reacting to this one thing; it reminded me of an entire pattern of things, and it’s that pattern I’m reacting to” and you’ll get looked at like you’re speaking in tongues
i saw a girl on tiktok who said “accountability is so important to me. nobody’s perfect, but don’t try to flip the script and make my reaction the issue when your actions lit the match” felt this to the core.