Kelsy✨

unorganized. unoriginal. overrated. welcome to my crisis.

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

@JonFreier could you have at least not picked a full moon week to launch this mess?

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

@Meta @facebook you can send my residuals check to huntington for fielding all your issues at work today.

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

I’m gonna give 10 random people that repost this and follow me $25,000 for fun (the $250,000 my X video made)

I’ll pick the winners in 72 hours

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

am i almost thirty?
yes.
do i still cry at the dentists office when they do filling?
also yes.

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

one time in middle school i had to poop and some girls in the bathroom were making fun of me. it made me poop shy for years and i’d leave school early w/ bad belly bc i didn’t want to get caught shitting.

anyway, now all i talk about is shit and farts & poop freely. ok bye

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

@elonmusk ew

[ROBIN NORBECK @rsnorbeck]

Head on over to your local T-mobile store this weekend and get treated like a VIP with a 20% off for life discount! We have a limited supply of codes, so grab the family and come on down and Switch to T-Mobile for your wireless and home internet needs!

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

@Wendys hermitage - thanks for forgetting my mom’s fry and bbq sauce 🫠

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

i keep seeing cardinals everywhere

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

the best example of a company listening to consumers that i can think of is taco bell ditching those digesting cardboard cheese cups and bringing back the plastic.
don’t get me wrong, i’m sorry for the turtles - but don’t give me soggy cardboard cheese.
luv u guys 💕

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

sometimes i wish i had kids younger, but then i realize how much more patient i am now than i was 5 years ago.

don’t get me wrong, i still lose my shit most days - but i think my mental state now is better for handling kid emotions than they were.

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

@Walgreens this better be some high quality cotton for that price.

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

behavioral health in america is such a fucking joke.

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

maybe in the asshole, but i absolutely can’t stand when people refer to babies as flirts.
she’s a year old, you whackadoo. she’s probably farting.

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

i would rather pluck each individual pubic hair i have out of my body than go to work in the morning.

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

i’ll be your hype man for calling off of work, but don’t ask me to do it. schedule deviations hurt brain. call of anxiety hurt belly. 🫠

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

@DollarShaveClub has some bomb ass customer service on here, and some even better razors. skip the website and just tweet them. thanks again for responding fast! much appreciated 💕

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

one of the wealthiest countries in the world still not requiring multi billion dollar companies to pay mothers a minimum 12 weeks maternity leave. gross.

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

looks like someone on the tampax production line got hungry 💀😂

[Kelsy✨ @lucifer93x]

@fuckyouiquit telecom here. had a man call me a “little fucking bitch,” say i was going to “fix this fucking phone today” and act like he was going to fight me a few days ago so that was fun. 🙃