According to the small print on this kilo bag of Mini Eggs, a 'portion' is 8 eggs. 8 eggs. What am I, stranded on Mars? 8 eggs. They think I'm going to be doing fuckin meal prep with Mini Eggs? 8 eggs per portion. I've 8 eggs in my mouth right now and there's room for more!
Judging by all the banging, it was fireworks night last night. It also seems to be fireworks night tonight. Tomorrow is also (officially) fireworks night. It’ll probably be fireworks night on Monday, too.
anytime I’m stuck behind someone going half the speed limit, not indicating, hogging a lane or being in the complete wrong lane altogether it always ends up being a senile old wank who isn’t fit to drive but pays about £50 a year for insurance. Stop punishing young drivers