Lumpy Gusset

Twat!

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

Aaaah the incessant droning of lawn mowers and DIY monkeys . . . The clarion call heralding the start of British Summertime . . .

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

So did Max Clifford have a small nob or not?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

What does 1000 new C19 cases a day mean in relation to the R number?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

@HSBC_UK Hi. Why is there no email option as a a way of contacting my branch?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

Is it just me or is Troika shite?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

Are bogies vegetarian?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

@Lady44Sassy Where is this image from please?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

s the advertising slogan "enormous reductions" an oxymoron?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

I wonder what reptile eggs taste like. Are they the same as birds eggs in that they have a yolk and a white?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

Can you ever love someone so much that you would let them take off the protective film from your brand new smart phone?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

Do you pronounce the "n" in columnist?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

I can't help feeling that the Ebay telly advert about "94 seconds" is raising the bar a bit too high and promoting unrealistic expectations . .

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

I hope this is not a daft question but i it OK to visit a friend if you meet in their garden and stay 2 m away from each other?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

If I go for a drive in my car on my own, for a change of scenery but don't get out of it, I am still isolating myself so is this OK with the government guidelines?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

@Lisacaines841 You look lovely to me x

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

@Rossmac212 It's mother?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

Last night I dreamt that I had got a 8 inch willy! I could not have been more disappointed when I woke up this morning to find I was still stuck with this big bastard!

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

@DaveAngela Tough question . . .

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

@cjwerleman @rydoso @UstadhMQ Why is it relevant that he is a Muslim?

[Lumpy Gusset @lumpygusset]

Cows are vegan and their farts are destroying the planet . . . Just saying, like .