those 5 minutes when a man is shaving and all that’s left is the mustache and he’s walking around saying “maybe i’ll keep it” are the most terrifying 5 minutes of a woman’s life
Bruce Springsteen at 73: I've already played for 2 and a half hours so I'll maybe just do a 7 or 8 song encore
Me at 31: it's 10pm so we can rule out watching a film, let's try an episode of a sitcom and regroup afterwards to see if a 2nd episode is doable
I love saying ‘I fell asleep’ during the day when actually I did purposely lay down on my bed with a teddy and a blanket and closed my eyes blissfully. Oopsie! An honest mistake that anyone could make
Angelina Jolie once tried to hire a hitman to kill her, because she felt a murder would be easier on her family than for her to actually committing sucide. The hitman allegedly talked her out of it by asking her to wait one month 😳🙏