saint chantel

[☔ @Whotfismick]

me going back to sleep because there’s 47 seconds left until my alarm goes off

[Rynox @rynoxidc]

“Could you sit in your house for 2 weeks straight for 50,000 dollars?”

Me, sitting in my house for $0:

[cow @cowincrisis]

shut the fuck up

[Marie🧚 @glitchu__]

I'm this OLD

[Errai @errai]

Oh man I (washes hands) love cooking so much (washes hands) and it’s so easy to (washes hands) make anything you want

[ayox @ayblaaack]

You know it was going to be a great movie the moment you saw this

[‎ً @cyberfeeels]

"Your package will be delivered today."
Me all day:

[dan 🐝 @niloucitas]

siento q he vivido 30 vidas desde q pasó esto

[Marie🧚 @glitchu__]

when I get up to drink water at night and things get out of control

[May🌺 @_ayandamay]

I remember telling a girl at the gas station that the man in her car should be pumping the gas . She said he was an amputee & that’s the day I learned to mind my fucking business

[Spill The Memes @SpillTheMemes]

😂

[☆ ★ @imfynerthanfyne]

i just called 911 accidentally and the operator picked up and asked if i’m okay. i said "yes sorry that was an accident" he hung up in my face 😭😭😭😭😭😭 now what if the killer was forcing me to say that????? he didn't even try a little bit 😭😭

[✰ @slowwlifee]

purposely ignoring hints so people can be direct and communicate like adults

[nostalgia core @nostalgiacore]

“How old are you?”

Me: I watched this on VHS…

[blaire @pissshit90001]

I am literally never drinking again until around maybe Friday at 7pm

[˖ Ritz 𓂀 ݁˖ @ridhima_z]

Is it me or I’m trip’n but… washing machine minutes don’t be the same as real minutes?