Madeline

\m/

[party mom @fifimcfae]

hunter biden, you have to stop. you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your bitch too bad. they'll kill you.

[alex lei @alexL_E_I]

in accordance with Pride month, Iran will shut down all straits

[Andrew Egger @EggerDC]

Get their ass Elijah Wood

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

Whether it’s Ken Paxton committing multiple felonies or James Talarico ordering a vegetarian taco, both Texas Senate candidates have troubled pasts.

[Jeff Timmer @jefftimmer]

A GoFundMe to support this would erase the national debt

[yimmy, slackjawed and crosseyed @yimmybastard]

This is retconning Minions lore. In the Minions movie it was revealed that between Napoleon's invasion of Russia in 1812 and 1968 the entire population of Minions were in a Siberian cave. This was a workaround so they didn't help Hitler, which is now back on the table

[The okayest poster there is @ok_post_guy]

If there's one thing Ted Cruz cares about, it's his ability to get in and out of an airport in record time when shit goes down

[Jon Aguiar @JonAguiar]

We spent the last 9 months raiding Home Depot parking lots instead of arresting anyone from the massive network of Iranian terrorist cells?

[patrick "inverted vibe curve" blanchfield @PatBlanchfield]

we’re embarking on an amazing partnership between the UFC and law enforcement to achieve domestic violence rates like you wouldn’t believe

[Jack Cocchiarella 🌹 @JDCocchiarella]

The two biggest MAGA critiques of James Talarico are that he’s really nice and follows a few bad bitches on IG lmao y’all genuinely cooked

[ettingermentum @ettingermentum]

I just can’t believe that the inaugural owner of the FIFA Peace Prize would do something like this

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

ummmm you don't understand, MY family came here legally. They had to meet rigorous requirements like, "get on a boat", and "don't shit yourself to death on the boat before it gets there"

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

bitch @JDVance

[Morgan Godvin @MorganGodvin]

Schrödinger’s Second Amendment:

- Guns are a mandatory prerequisite for the government to respect your rights.

- Guns immediately invalidate your rights and the government can execute you on the spot if you have one.

[Wrath @nmewrath]

Kristi Noem: "I don't know of any peaceful protestor that shows up armed and with ammunition..."

[Assal Rad @AssalRad]

“Domestic terrorist” “Nice young man”

[Animarchy History 🇦🇺 @AnimarchyYT]

Well... the winter storm does indeed appear to be a sign from God. Hell has in fact frozen over.