The Emptiness

Darkhearted Fever Dreams.
My art & love account.
My name is Randa, like panda 🐼. I'm a student of belly dance & ASL, etc.
I love my fur baby, Siouxsie Sioux.

[The Smashing Pumpkins @SmashingPumpkin]

"Speed Kills", the b-side on the "Stand Inside Your Love" single

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

It's not that I'm impatient. I just quickly am learning dating apps just aren't for me.
Many men around my age or older just dont take care of themselves, and it shows in a lot of ways, especially dietary.
When I find someone I want, basically nobody measures up.
So stuck :(

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

I gotta start working out again.

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

Some do absolutely fine.

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

Surfin' Cupid... How is it, after all these years, most men do not know how to or care to learn how to take selfies? At least have someone take pictures of you?
I hate this

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

I didn't even know I was ready to date until I found someone I liked by accident. Totally disrupted my "Yay, singlehood, forever!"
That person changed a lot inside of me. Thinking of them has made me feel happy.

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

How am I going to get out of Utah. Help

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

I will probably upload to YouTube my lame but funny? practice video I just made. When? Soon. I dont know. My phone is basically dead.

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

Been fleeting my make-up process. Eager to put it on today, as Thursday is my favorite day of the week, so that helps!
But we shall see if by the end of the day if I am in the mood to properly remove it all. Blech. Hope so.

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

I'm happy I'm a type of woman that can literally roll out of bed & get the day on & rolling. Or if I'm feeling it, get all dolled up and get to feel pretty all day long. With or without a man :) I have had this thrilling privilege for some years now.
Please take me camping lol

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

If you are in a relationship with a person you love & you live your life in a way that they'll never see you without your make-up off...what does that say about you? OR even them?? Did they make you feel you must not look good enough without it, or you just can't accept yourself?

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

I called in a request to my favorite radio station! Can't wait!
The Killing Joke - Love Like Blood
https://t.co/tHvM0kr0eb

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

...To have a love, a partner, to make stupid fun videos with...
Not even to get internet famous. At least, that wouldn't be the point for me. I'm too average looking, anyway. Better with make-up on though!
I've loved growing up making videos with my sister, cousins, and friends.

[RandaKimberly @exactbasket]

Look....I put on makeup today. Took a fuck ton of exfoliating first. Then finished it off with a setting spray. Accidentally left my eyes and mouth open for it. Can you tell? Tasted kinda good though.

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

Caboodles cases are the shit! This one pictured, I've had since I was a teen.
But tattoo stickers acquired and added as a full grown adult.

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

Grew up wearing make-up daily since age 12. Been too busy for recent years to care to wear it anymore; just getting comfortable in my own skin. Which I am now! But I'm ready to dabble here and there again.

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

Here's something that blows:
X grew up making music vids w/fam&friends. While married, X made shorts & music vids w/fam&friends.We were married 12 & 1/2 years.X never once invited me 2 be in any of 'em. Ever since I was 4ish, I wanted to be the girl in the music videos.
#crushed

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

Orgy - Fiction (Dreams In Digital)
music video
https://t.co/MklLZPGBqm
Grew up on industrial grunge! ❤

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

JayyVon - It's On You
Official Music Video
https://t.co/fYOjgJDGn9
Love ALL of this 💋

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

I grew up in front of the camcorder as a kid up through High school, so it shouldn't be a shock to my family that I'm getting back into it. Trying to. But... I figure I will start with fleets and Insta stories to get used to my face again.

[The Emptiness @machinadore]

Posted my first fleet on this account.
Part of my problem is I hate seeing myself on camera. Unless I am performing MF (Modern Fusion, not "Mother Fucking") belly dance on stage with a crew, I'm like "I'm so gross I hate it." Annnd I wasn't even wearing makeup in this one. So. :)