ǝǝןɹɐɯ

I hope they serve Go-gurt in hell.

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

LinkedIn in college is weird. Like I have seen you projectile vomit in the streets of Nola, but I guess I'll endorse you for Microsoft Office.

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

The brands called Phillips and they’ve been outfitting the Sleep Apnea Gang™ for decades.

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

I got a C on my 5th grade report card in handwriting. Idk if it’s funnier that I bawled over this bc I thought my life was over or the fact that I’m 26 and my handwriting is still just as bad.

(My actual lowest grade was a 6% in college)

[Gaurav Sabnis @gauravsabnis]

Flex your lowest academic low score.
To remind us that almost everyone fails at some point in life but it isn't the end of the road. Just a memory in the end.

Mine was 27/100 in Engineering Math 2, just a year after I'd scored 99 in 12th boards. Much needed kick in my butt.

[ً @paymefam]

rihanna pregnant or her ass just lazy ?

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

I’m voting for @ajcole90 bc I heard he can kick good. #WPMOYchallenge

[AJ Cole @AJCole90]

such an honor to be selected as the Walter Payton Man of the Year nominee for the @raiders !!!

i will be partnering with @SONevada in the social media challenge to raise an additional $25,000. please tweet my social @ajcole90 + #WPMOYchallenge to cast your vote 🫡

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

When you make pasta, do you chew on the uncooked pasta while you wait for the water to boil?

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

My new dream job is being a shitty college football coach. Getting fired AND getting paid $11+ million? Count me in.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Take Materials Science 101. You won’t regret it.

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

@zev_greenberg “Excuse me, Double Dr. Greenberg coming through”

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

@DebbyRyan do you remember him? #insatiable

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

@netflix idea: 2 hour hibachi chef stand up comedy special.

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

@CocaCola currently drinking the best Diet Coke of my life UPC490450

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

Last night, I had a dream I was hanging out with Miley Cyrus. Then Alex Trebek came and brought me a cheesesteak. It was cool.

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

Tbt to when I broke my leg and was on crutches and the @GeorgiaTech Office of Disabilty insisted I had to submit an accommodation request IN PERSON to their office ON THE SECOND FLOOR.

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

Is adulting finally washing your sheets then being too lazy to make your bed so you sleep on the couch? Bc if so, I’m really good at adulting.

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

I just want to watch @euphoriaHBO , but apparently there’s an “important football game on”

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

Me: a ~young professional~ reading on a ~business trip~

[✨ lydia ✨ @lydia_ski]

┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we
▔▏┗┛▕▔ support
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
Amy Schneider
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

#jeopardy #TeamAmy

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

Fact. You are immune to covid at tiki. Tango.

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

Did you know Rae Sremmurd is 2 people?

[ǝǝןɹɐɯ @machomarbles]

If you don’t tweet about @hbomax crashing, do you even watch @euphoriaHBO