lil ravioli

low budget, high concept

[Donn Gunvalson Parody @DonnGunvalson]

Like a defense attorney falling for Ted Bundy.

[miia @miiagarro]

being a man must be so easy all you have to do is lie and get haircuts

[ashley ray @theashleyray]

friend just called john tucker must die is a gen z movie so i pulled out a gun

[lil ravioli @mackrobb]

That’s crazy I was actually hoping you d*ed #NikitaHand

[Conor McGregor @TheNotoriousMMA]

My head gasket is gone. Destroyed. I had no injury / injuries going into the fight. I was throwing kicks, planted and jumping, all throughout camp as well as backstage before the fight. This came out of nowhere. I am beyond dark here. I can only describe it as hell.

[Habeas Corpus Linguistics @HabCorpLinguist]

Someone should invent a version of Outlook that can search for emails and find them.

[elly🌺 @ellye6ks]

men will say “at least im not selling my body” and then join the military

[HER. @Adore_Shay]

People thinking having a passport is a symbol of having money is hilarious. The shit is $200 😭

[chuck 🏔 @crowcialist]

Nothing makes me feel more alienated from my fellow Americans than everyone’s rabid need to just be standing in lines all the time. If I have to stand in line I’m not going

[4̶𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡༒ @OGsDontFold]

Keep your $8.49 refund, DoorDash. What I really want is for you to know the deep, hollow pain of waiting 40 minutes for a milkshake that never comes.

[𝗠𝘂𝗵𝗲𝗲 ♛ @muheediva01]

The wildest part about POVERTY is how much time it steals. Waiting for buses. Calling assistance offices. Comparing grocery prices. Fighting insurance. Sitting at laundromats. Being poor is a second job nobody pays you for.

[S🎧 @wellnessgirlyy]

when 20 yo say shit like “i won’t have kids until like 25” but they don’t know that 25 is literally tomorrow

[👹 @connnnobi]

Working from home is fun until you suddenly have a room in your house that makes you want to die

[PeePee🎀 @peegzy1]

Everything is urgent in corporate, except recognition and salary increases.

[Derek Heckman @herekdeckman]

Me as a small town sheriff when the FBI shows up to claim jurisdiction: “Ohhhhh thank god. This is so fucked up. I did NOT want to deal with this”

[Meggy @igetsoinspired]

Just found out someone hates me for reasons that are definitely deserved

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

The People who post on Linkedin and genuinely enjoy their corporate career actually terrıfy me.

[Noah Hiles @_NoahHiles]

Where were you the day the earth stood still?

[austí @austussy]

Pride kinda isn’t very fun if you live in a city already bc it’s like the same stuff that you do every weekend but More Expensive And Worse

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

May you heal so hard you do your hobbies again.