Madeline Thompson

[gary from teen mom @garyfromteenmom]

nobody:
me in the uber at 3:36 am: so do u like driving

[Bella Patel @bella_patella]

If we're gonna elect another celebrity can it at least be Ashton Kutcher or something like he's done more to help people than all the candidates combined and he's hot

[Brandalin @brandalintipton]

Friend soulmates are a thing and if you don’t feel that way, you haven’t met yours yet

[JM @panettonepapi]

One of my favorites lmao

[ass crack bandit @ass_crackbandit]

honestly worst purchase of 2020 was a 2020 planner

[Gators Daily 🐊 @GatorsDaily]

I love Florida so much

[Sarah Cooper @sarahcpr]

A dating app where you watch a comedy video and you match with people based on which part of the video you laughed at most. This is either brilliant or evidence that I only got 2 hours of sleep last night

[Colleen @Coll3enG]

stop complaining about boys leaving you on read i promise they didn’t have anything useful to say anyways

[ONE&ONLY @Newsamya]

The 7 rules.

[ʎɐɹʇ𖤐˚.⋆ @traydominic]

i miss being drunk and eating my mcdonald’s with my eyes closed

[defne gencler @omgitsdef]

Today is 5/9, or as some guys call it 5/11

[Quincy Jamal @iAmQuincyJamal]

People in Florida don't call it Covid-19 they just say "with all this shit going on"

[Matt. @MattTheBrand]

this is how every phone conversation has gone lately

[☆ Shanon ☆ @nagumoxyoichi]

Soulmate friendships are indeed very real

[pikerroo @Pikerroo]

Louis the child & Quinn made a song 🥺

[Nick Lehmann @NickStopTalking]

I wasn’t gonna drink tonight but maybe I’ll have five glasses of wine

[thadpole @primeYwm]

I can’t do this my dad would shoot me

[Emily Murnane @emily_murnane]

Days are now divided by coffee hours and alcohol hours, there is no other law