maddy💜

occasionally very funny

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

Firefighters to Sixth Graders in the 2000’s:

Have a fire ladder and a plan of escape if you want your family to live

[Liam Scott @liamjscott]

I had a great time going to an estate sale with DC estate sale celebrity Maddy Brannon and writing about it for @washingtonpost my latest
https://t.co/iPNZkQubH7

[NBC4 Washington @nbcwashington]

Maddy Brannon is a D.C.-based stand-up comedian who, in her spare time, has racked up a social media following posting about estate sales. https://t.co/UnSTqnEEdD

[Rachel Kurzius @Curious_Kurz]

Who doesn’t love a shopping experience that allows you to be a little nosy?

Got to dust off my audio kit and shadow @maddy_brannon for an @NPR story all about how young people are flocking to estate sales.

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

When to go, what to look for and whether to negotiate: Here’s a D.C. estate sale influencer’s top tips for a successful estate sale outing. https://t.co/4pqsdX6vFb

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

As a woman I’ve got until November to run my mouth and then we’ll see

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

@JessicoBowman @MayoIsSpicyy She didn’t say he was going to win please for the love of democracy start reading

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

@BF_Finster Ahh thank you 🥰

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

Firefighters to Sixth Graders in the 2000’s:

Have a fire ladder and a plan of escape if you want your family to live

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

In the name of
The Mother,
The Son,
The Dirty Grandpa,
The Boss Baby,
Amen

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

I hope my Nest becomes sentient so that we can fight to the death

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

You ever get wine drunk and order nutrisystem? Yeah me neither

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

You know you’re in your 30s when you start googling how to stop dreaming in your sleep

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

I’m not a spray tan girlie, I’m sometimes not even a brush my teeth twice a day girlie

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

The first time someone called me “ma’am” was 4 years ago in an Urban Outfitters and it’s all been downhill since then

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

There will be 2 television events I remember until my death bed:

1. Season finale of Mad Men

2. Season 10 Episode 5 of Vanderpump Rules

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

Walking into a small artisan candle shop blacked out drunk and asking if the candles were “the kind that give you cancer” is about as rowdy as I get in my 30s

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

Who would you rather disappoint

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

I miss the good old days when parents were mean to their children in private, not on Tik Tok

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

I like The Office too, I’m just not so loud about it

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

Me to myself at the start of every song on my Spotify 2022 playlist: “wow this is a bop”

[maddy💜 @maddy_brannon]

Foreplay for me is when my husband watches The Kardashians with me and doesn’t complain