MaddyLuxx

Do not use while operating heavy machinery.

[MaddyLuxx @MaddyLuxx]

Gold. By "the God that wrote the Constitution with his dick": Republican Candidates, Ranked By Who God Loves Most https://t.co/xW3V42nsFB

[Los Feliz Daycare @LosFelizDaycare]

Almost every student wants to perform a cover of Father John Misty covering Ryan Adams' cover of Taylor Swift's 1989 at the LFDC talent show

[vladchoc @vladchoc]

Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.

[MaddyLuxx @MaddyLuxx]

To appear interested in a boring story, I pretend I am my psychiatrist by making his "that sounds important" face and writing prescriptions.

[☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @AnOrangeSNES]

The security guards escort me out of the comrade manufacturing factory. "I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS!" I shout as they drag me out.

[Feenohmenal @Feenohmenal]

My alt is following you.

[✯A̷T̷O̷M̷I̷C̷ ̷R̷O̷B̷O̷T̷✯ @Gelatin_Cyborg]

So lonely, you begged to be the subject of a hazing ritual.
But don't worry. Those eyebrows will grown back.
Probably.
...

[MaddyLuxx @MaddyLuxx]

I'm so self-absorbed that my dream date is having my every quirk analyzed and explained to me in great detail.

[MaddyLuxx @MaddyLuxx]

@WBKnoblock plus they all have prescriptions for weed and smoke fake cigarettes that taste like candy. Those little shits have it so good.

[Casey @pari_passu]

Hi, religious right. I keep my uterus out of your church, so keep your church out of my uterus. #IStandWithPP

[MaddyLuxx @MaddyLuxx]

Tried to remember life before streaming netflix and I just keep visualizing a catalogue and a rotary phone. I'm missing like 20 years.

[MaddyLuxx @MaddyLuxx]

Why is canned wine a thing? Like I drink you like I drink diet coke so now we have a problem. And a burnt pizza.

[rachelle mandik 🕳 @rachelle_mandik]

the moon landing, except it's the moon, landing on earth. everyone is just as excited. at first.

[uncdoobiest @ncknvme]

Are you always talking about how fat and ugly other people are because you're a subject-matter expert?

[Jim Woodworth @mijworth]

I love the free action figure table that comes with the pizza you order.

[Jim Woodworth @mijworth]

Ever see an 'n' do a cartwheel?

nun

This is amazing keyboard magic guys fuck.

[Arby’s Provocateur @SamGrittner]

First day in prison go up the biggest guy there and teach him PhotoShop. You'll be making warden memes & absolutely killing it in prison.

[rachelle mandik 🕳 @rachelle_mandik]

i am a conceptual foley artist. i make noises with objects that are meant to sound like those same objects.