Maddy Nimeh

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

Hold on I need to empty my bowels to think clearly

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

@deadcon8 You’re the fucking best wow so so sweet 😭

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

Alright who stole my hemorrhoid cream

[¢orie @corietjohnson]

girl asking u on date: I was thinking wine at sunset :) whatever day works best for you! 💓

guy asking u on date: wanna meet at a dark bar? like, right now.

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

98% sure I have hemorrhoids

[como chungus @mirhandjob]

normalize sex BEFORE dinner! not trynna hold in a fart while I’m folded in half.

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

What gets me to sprint on the treadmill is traitor by Olivia Rodrigo

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

I’m so annoyed I’ve been sick longer than my boyfriend and his taste is already coming back and mine isn’t…

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

I’m picking puss pockets out of my throat with a toothpick

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

I just shouted that I’m pregnant and my mom goes “happy Saturday”

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

I can sit on the toilet for as long as I want goddamnit!!!

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

:(

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

Instead of I want candy it should be I want coffee am I right who’s with me

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

Take your pick!
Blonde w/ diarrhea every 5 minutes and 103 fever
or
Brunette with greasy hair and extremely dark under eye circles

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

@Bryce766 Hahah thank you, thank you

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

The toilet is where I conduct all of my business, both figuratively and literally

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

I’m just like sitting on the floor of my room with one lamp on thinking about how drastically my life has changed in one year

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

Has anyone ever actually fucked their pool boy? Just curious

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

@chrisdelia podcast 🥰 so glad he’s back wow

[Maddy Nimeh @MaddyNimeh]

I’m fucking on one or something... I’m sick and I went to a casting call this morning, took a covid test after that, just went to an orange theory class, I’m working out again later with friends, then going to a bar...