Mad

My favorite pastime is thinking about dinner while I am eating lunch

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

My mom has requested that I stop talking about farts as it is not “lady like”. Well what the fuck am I supposed to talk about now, Janis? Queefs?

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

I hate that straws actually make a drink better. Like drinking a Bloody Mary without a straw? Having the ice and spices hitting your raw teeth? F’ing nasty

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@yazzminnnnn @CheemaWRLD @ScrewYourTweet Lololol

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

Something about eating a complete roll of summer sausage brings me so much joy. I will not be going vegan because of that feeling. No shade to you vegans!!! I hope you find a yummy alternative in my heart of hearts ♥️

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@e_jaculation Solid choice!

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

Passenger princesses are out!! Popper princesses are in!!⚡️

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@KooKevy You should see them in concert

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@yazzminnnnn @MrJacobWeiner Exclamation point

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@grease_king You’re stupid!! (Respectfully)

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@e_jaculation Samesies but I’m not even strategic enough to actually win survivor. HOWEVER, I think I could wrestle an alligator if my life depended on it

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@Y2SHAF @mirandaavollmer

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@RehmanBhatti No it was barely existent. Not the papa johns garlic butter at all!

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

I got high and ordered pizza with garlic butter instead of marinara sauce. And let me tell ya, it wasn’t good. Lolz. Shoot.

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@vaginalpride Insane in the membrane! Insane, got no brain!

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@vaginalpride @CRAYJAY_PEBBLES HAHAH

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@yazzminnnnn Ava killed it high key

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

I willingly decided to rewatch The Last Song. I’m about to be 28 guys this isn’t good

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

Multi-colored Christmas lights are just not it

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

The Caesar Salad at Cheesecake Factory sucks butt farts. Don’t waste your time! 3/10

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

My network is unstable? I think we are all unstable, sweetheart

[Mad @madmaddyeats]

@yazzminnnnn If I don’t get a Caesar salad before Chelsea!!!!!!