mads van

birds aren’t real//chicagoish

[Derick @whoaitsderick]

Odysseus spent 7 YEARS at his side chick house, came back home and blamed it on Poseidon 😭😭😭

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

Christopher Nolan didn’t have the balls to let the audience actually hear the siren’s song (Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado ft Timbaland)

[grace @gracefishlove]

idk i think the elephant really ties the room together

[a broken soul @abrokensouI]

at the most fuckable age of my life and the only thing i am is suicidal

[jake @wormpuller]

Calling in fat and sleepy to work

[carl 🥦 @NightlifeMingus]

I put a “student driver” sticker on my car because I believe learning is a lifelong endeavor

[swamp hag ✨☕️🌸🍓🍰 @potatoslav]

husband went to see The Odyssey

[m̃ @hexesandspell]

God forbid a girl be both a muse and a menace.

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when your bf isn’t a fkn loser

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

I saw someone say, “No spoilers for The Odyssey.” Brother, you’ve had 3,000 years to read the book.

[Ienka @ankyhaidy]

you’re my friend and to some extent my wife

[low yield lucy @picotop]

intern just said "type shit" to a client.

[hunter @3gpmh]

fake idgafer i saw you twisting your earrings and touching your collarbones

[•ultra glitch• @highsieze6]

sorry i didnt hear you i was thinking of something weird

[Nickeee @Nick__Nation]

Hey sorry I missed your text I was trying to change the prophecy

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

love at first sight? i don't think so. chemistry at first banter? yes.

[hera @shiningdaisies]

top reasons to do something:
1. funsies
2. spite

[d 🪬’s love island @girlidkusername]

he’s like a friend i worry about

[julia @juumelo_]

when a white boy asks you to put sunscreen on him that’s a sign of great respect in their culture

[p. @sixinchbeys]

how do you face your family after going on love island and getting spanked on national television