wine mommy

a housecat in human form

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

I’m going to shitpost here

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

@SarahGLAMbruno That was my moms ringtone for me from 09-12

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

@sethmeyers we hate the sea captain. We request he perish in his battle w the ghost lobster. An heroic death if u must but permanent, please.

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

@PreviouslyLingo I caught a busboy at a restaurant I worked at worked at throwing out silverware (and we were low on forks smfh) and was like wtf and he just stared at me w cold dead eyes. I quit soon after

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

@PreviouslyLingo That’s a sign of sociopathy

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

@Breannieee I will tip 20%

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

@Breannieee Could I possibly come sell my turnips on your island?

[JJZOTU$ @_jb0o]

Imagine Bobby wrapping up Being Alive and just full sending that shit into orchestra seating

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

I only ever tweet to complain abt shit I’m afraid I’d get fired for I swear

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

My boss got a grant somehow but he won’t get the money unless his staff goes back to work. I’ve literally been studying 40 hours a week and they’re asking me if I can come back for 20 hours a week, stop collecting unemployment and quite probably fail school

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

CJ was trying to sing that Nicki Minaj verse and said “I never fucked Wayne I never fucked Garth”

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

I been fuckin it up in the kitchen

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

Damn I just ate a bacon and butter sandwich and that shit slapped

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

Me @ everyone re: coronavirus

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

The sheep at my work had their lambs and this is the first time I’ve missed work

[dani 🇵🇸 @gutterfairy]

where my thottage core ladies at

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

This man was born and raised in Oregon, not Belarus why is that his default pancake

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

I asked Cj if he would make me blueberry pancakes for breakfast and he was like sure babe. He tinkers around in the kitchen for like 2 hours and then is like ur pancakes are ready.

Tell me why this man made me blini— the thin ass Russian savory crepe pancake— NO BLUEBERRIES

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

Mood

[⚡️ @tajahstweets]

This type of energy right here is something to strive for @princessnokia

[wine mommy @maeryfae]

My phone better stop telling me to set an alarm and how long it’ll take me to go to work cmon bruh Im staying home