Nicholas muangeh

analyst

[kijana ya KMTC™🇰🇪 @KijanayaKmtc]

Sisi tulingoja aseme anaresign, yeye akataja 2060

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Kenya's Treasury is preparing for a busy mid August refinancing cycle as KSh 181 billion worth of Treasury bills mature. There will be a cash crunch here. The pressure comes after investors purchased KSh 184.1 billion in 91-day Treasury bills over the past ten weeks, highlighting the government's continued reliance on short-term domestic borrowing.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

There’s a national blackout & the Cabinet Secretary in charge doesn't know the difference between Kilowatts & Megawatts. I was just chilling with my 5% battery yawa.🥹

[Chris Sambu @the_sambu]

Of course from this full statement the punch line to the larger electorate is "wamejaribu kuharibu jina na imekataa." Forget everything else said in English; the take-home point is massive. Omwami listens!

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Son of Adonija, who was caught on camera engaging in clearing and forwarding while preaching the WANTAM gospel at a salon in Nairobi West has now been identified as Barte. Word on the street is that the Mikora had received a tipoff about an ongoing chama meeting at the scene, so he arrived not for contribution, but for financial empowerment.

It's now being alleged that the daughter of Agrippina, who happens to be a member of the chama, may have been the inside plug. It only took less than 12 hours for DCI sleuths to capture the mikora.

He's currently cooling his Sundus at the Kiambu Rd based affordable housing located near Karura forest. He's receiving an open air massage with not so happy ending as he illustrates to the sleuths how he acquired the kidungi that he was using to terrorize hardworking Kenyans. Chesaa!!

[Nicholas muangeh @maestrolefty47]

@georgediano Bungoma will only rise the day Wetang'ula will meet with his maker"

[kipruto @KiprutToo]

Raila had the most faithful fan base but people never did this.

[K24TV @K24Tv]

"Sasa Shikeni Sifuna tumpeleke Kasongo nyumbani, na mimi Orengo ndiye chuma ya zamani, na chuma ya leo. I am more senior than Ruto in politics... - Hon. Orengo

[Nicholas muangeh @maestrolefty47]

@musakuru45 😂😂😂

[Nicholas muangeh @maestrolefty47]

@mumiasfinest 😂😂😂

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Convert the sidechick to a wife and experience premium hell, sidechicks can only work on your weaknesses and you'll think she cares. She's only behaving well because of the loopholes you created right in front of her... tell sidechick your wife doesn't know how to cook vegetable soup, she'll start learning, tell her your wife can't fuck well, she'll ride you like an ovulating horse just to prove point. Then bring her onboard, my brother you'll remove balloons. Chesaa!!

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Here Are Five Good Reasons Why You Should Never Date A Singo Mother!!

1: You can never be her first priority.
2: Chances are that she would be cheating on you with her baby daddy.
3: You can't discipline her child with ur pure heart... Meaning ( if you are strict= because you are not the father and if you are soft= you want to ruin the child's life because you are not the father).
4 : If the child is a girl, they'll one day Accuse you of supplying her with high voltage electricity.
5 : You are being deprived of being a first time dad,,, you can't experience the shared joy between partners when they are expecting their first child.

Bonus: Many single mothers find it difficult to love again and they are pained after their past experiences. Remember the list goes on and on,,, I just chose the 5 weakest reasons. Chesaa!!

[Yoko @Kibet_bull]

Jeff Koinange waited for Mbadi to expose his incompetence, then asked who the MP for Suba was who had not delivered all that period. Mbadi, with his cluelessness, said it was Mbadi. Jeff closed with a "Thank you" and ended the debate 😂🔥

[Nicholas muangeh @maestrolefty47]

@kijana_misa Kiburi n mbaya

[Omwamba 🇰🇪 @omwambaKE]

X has unsuspended Omwamba after nearly 2 years

[Nicholas muangeh @maestrolefty47]

@georgediano Kino

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Many men today walk through life empty. Not because they lack strength, but because they lack something worth living for and worth dying for.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

In front of you is Joel Freeman, a middle-aged Irish gentleman who is currently discovering that love is blind, but bank transfers are very clear. Joel was left staring at Poverty with his sanpanku eyes after a yellow yellow damsel called Martha Wairimu left him matako wazi in Malindi after an estimated KSh 80 million disappeared faster than tea at a fundraiser in Vihiga.

The story began in May last year when Joel met Martha online. Like a man who had just discovered kinywero, he fell in love at first sight. Martha reportedly promised him unlimited love, uninterrupted electricity supply, peace of mind, five-star meals, royal treatment, and a direct connection to Sayuni's customer care desk.

Joel who was operating purely on faith and feelings, wired KSh 24.7 million for a house which Martha thoughtfully registered in her own name. He later sent KSh 5 million for a Subaru, which was also registered in Martha's name.

Not wanting to discriminate against vehicles, he added another KSh 7 million for a Toyota Double Cab, which somehow also ended up in Martha's name.

After successfully financing Martha's automotive and real estate development agenda, Joel boarded a flight from Dublin to Malindi to spend the rest of his life with the love of his life Martha, not Karua.

Upon arrival, he organized a colourful wedding that could probably be spotted from space. Relatives danced, goats surrendered their lives, photographers made money, and love was declared victorious. Then four months later, the Murimaa babe did what his pipoo from the mount do best.

Martha filed for divorce and reportedly began efforts to have Joel deported, leaving the poor man wondering whether he had joined a marriage or an advanced financial literacy course at our prestigious Kalahari Desert University of Science & Technology (K-DUST).

Joel took the matter to the Malindi courts and is now patiently waiting for the judges to determine whether he will recover at least a quarter of his money, a tyre from the Subaru, or even the Toyota's logbook holder.

Reports indicate that Joel is currently cooling his Sundus in a BnB somewhere in Mtwapa, surviving on tap water, madafu, and memories of KSh 80 million.

Economists are studying the case to understand how money can travel faster than light when romance is involved. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[Kipkalya Kones @MrKipkalya]

Once in a while, Ruto visits Kenya to announce new taxes, then proceeds with his world tour.

Incompetent at birth.

[Eric @amerix]

We have really gone through a lot as a nation.