M

[tess @tessiconic]

When I’m 3 drinks in and I hear someone light a cigarette https://t.co/qey0gucwOc

[Dallas Texas TV @DallasTexasTV]

Deep Ellum going crazy tonight 🤯

[Dallas Texas TV @DallasTexasTV]

Workers in East Texas used their grappling truck to relocate a12-foot gator from a roadside ditch

[Shooter McGavin @ShooterMcGavin]

Tom Brady absolutely bodied Kim Kardashian tonight

[Dallas Texas TV @DallasTexasTV]

Mutual combat the Texas way

[M @magic_mike444]

I’d like to congratulate the IRS on our pay raise.

[M @magic_mike444]

@kattdaddy9 You can’t post yourself twice and think we wouldn’t notice

[M @magic_mike444]

Not me having to tell maintenance how to caulk a tub 🙃

[M @magic_mike444]

LED headlights are dope until you have to pay to fix one and it requires a mortgage.

[Ian Miles @ianmiles]

This is how the police deal with climate protesters in Nevada. That’s how you do it.

[M @magic_mike444]

Got 4 beverages last night and my tab was $80 before tip.

God I forgot a how much I missed living in the city.

[M @magic_mike444]

@makenna244 A couple at a dog park asked me to come to their youth group when first moved here. I declined and got told I’m going to hell.

Welcome to the south!

[GRiZ 🌈 @Griz]

is this thing on?

[Not Elon Musk @ElonMuskAOC]

I have a proposal for Mr. Zuckerberg…

Winner of our fight gets ownership of the other persons social media platform for 24 HOURS.

You win, you get Twitter.
I win, I get Meta.

Let me know.

Best,
Elon “your wife drives a Tesla” Musk

[Bunk Police @BunkPolice]

THE RESULTS ARE IN—today we are sharing the outcome of our Adderall, Hydrocodone, and Oxycodone tests from pills purchased at pharmacies across Mexico.

[Dallas Texas TV @DallasTexasTV]

Memorial Day Weekend Vibes Off Jefferson Tonight 😎