maggot

vegan 🥬 dog mom 🐶 convicted felon ⛓

[Tilly! @floppystop]

Tf y'all know about Skippyjon Jones

[Justice @Justiceforjaws]

“cum for me baby” stop fucking pressuring me

[computer @computerforever]

in the subway earlier today there was a crazy tweaker guy and he was staring at me and gestured like he was pulling out a knife but it was an imaginary knife and he pretended like he was stabbing me from afar and I was like okay honestly that’s fine

[quartz @quartzmorrigan]

and i look like shit most of the time regardless. fuck you. does anybody have $75 i can hold til friday?

[Boon @faintchirp]

You think you the tit bitch 😂😂 you not even the bush #bushtit

[Jimmy AFC 🌶️ @jimmytozer]

Some people were claiming that Spurs could finish 2nd this season. I didn't realise they meant every game.

[C. @heartsyndomee]

When he asks for soapy titty pics but ik its just a trap to try and get me to shower #woke

[Liste @endliste]

2 HOURS BEFORE BEDTIME:
I'm so tired. I can't wait to sleep later. I can't do anything

3 HOURS AFTER BEDTIME:
(imagining learning how to play guitar) ☝️I m going to write a song to heal the world

[don ✨ @ddpain_]

They treat Sol like Meg Griffin 😭😭😭😭

[The worm @wormsextape]

When you’re eating salt & vinegar chips and start tasting blood and genuinely enter a flow state

[просто прохожу мимо @Sraphinetosl]

it's incredible how many miles a woman can walk when she's going insane

[milk @wet_foal]

First of all I didn’t mean it second of all I typically get away with this kind of thing

[JIMMY CHOCOLATE🪡🪉 @weaverfuck]

my sex drive is high but unfortunately hopelessly outclassed next to my desire-to-do-bits drive

[Wokebatman @batmanwhoiswoke]

Alfred, make the Batcave a safe space for latinx voices

[Stupid Twink @ThisStupidTwink]

youve gotta try a lot of silly bullshit during sex if youre ever gonna develop a signature move

[quasimatt @quasimatt]

LES never moving because no one has a job>>>

[Rayd @c_cf17]

It’s a marathon not a race.

[Russell “Lebron” Jordan @RJordan25pc]

Liked the ig story. Now all she has to do is reach out to me and plan a date

[frank zeppo @NoahPasternak]

What is "the Pooh". Why is Winnie called that. Answer me

[Trillsar ✟ @Trillsar271]

I’m crying actual tears man the prem is back 😭😭😭