@drgurner@TimurNegru Glad you’re putting this out, understanding this years ago would’ve saved me so much guilt and misery.
But sometimes you don’t have much choice though, do you have any tips for following through at times when a lot of discipline is required ?
@PabloAntonio This chart shows correlation but doesn’t show causation. Is this chart because rich countries consume more or is it because they produce more ? It’s not definitive.
Being on sabbatical has messed with my sense of time and productivity.
The sense of urgency at work seemed to compress the entire day more than I was appreciating. Wake up quickly, commute efficiently, squeeze email replies into the coffee line or elevator. Wolf down dinner, fit a hard workout into 45 minutes, skim interesting articles you stumble across, keep tabs on a dozen different Slack threads, then still find time to rush through a chapter of personal reading before knocking out.
I assumed that removing the work block would add 8-12 productive hours back to each day, but it never seemed to work like that for me.
On sabbatical, you're a bit slower to get up in the morning. You sit with your coffee for a while. You actually read that random article in your inbox all the way through. You linger over a nice breakfast, then find yourself out in the sun not really doing anything for five minutes or half an hour. You read 30-50 pages of your current book and actually sit with it, maybe chasing down a few tangents or references along the way. A bit of life admin, a slow trip to the grocery store, a dinner built around some new recipe, then some time winding down for bed.
Before you know it, the day is just sort of over, and all you did was read 40 pages, send some emails, and eat two nice meals. You maybe didn't even get around to meditating despite having basically no formal claims on your time.
I had an instinctive revulsion to this at first, like I’d made a sort of negative-sum exchange. I spent a while cargo-culting the tempo of work into an empty calendar, trying to recreate that same sense of urgency and forward motion. But without an actual forcing function, it never really took. I knew the deadlines were fake, and the day kept expanding around them anyway.
I eventually stopped fighting it and accepted that removing work from the equation had just sort of inflated everything else in my life: slower meals, slower reading, slower conversations, more time wandering or doing nothing in particular. I’m still often confused at the end of the day, unsure of where the time went, but I’ve mostly stopped treating that as a problem to solve and instead view it as the inherent tempo of the season I’m in.
There's something illegible about what I'm getting out of this season. I can feel myself paying finer-grained attention throughout the day, even if there's no clean metric at the end of it to tally against. Maybe six months of lingering slightly too long in the tomato aisle at Berkeley Bowl is slowly beating the Protestant work ethic out of me.
Weakness would have root and branches. The better you know yourself the more you can see the root. It's a long journey but a quick start to have a feel of it would be - look at what you're fighting/resisting against usually. And how you're instinctually, automatically running away from it. Then, look and observe it non-judgmentally, without trying to change or escape from it. Then, find a single place/use case of that weakness where it actually useful, becomes an edge.
Procrastination means you only do things that actually matter to you. Being an introvert observer at the party would mean you observe the truth of people better than others and analyze them better. Being a shitty operator could potentially signal being very creative/high level guy, etc.
Your natural inclination, as Feldenkrais says, will be to try to fix it, overcompensate it with your perceived strengths. Do NOT do that - surrender to the weakness (= admit the truth of who/what you are, stop the energy leaking, draining fight/suppression/trying to change the weakness).
Now, start to lean in on the weakness as an edge. View it as the ready at hand, very useful tool. Not a disadvantage (you stop splitting against yourself this way) but a differently shaped tool, still a part of you & useful to you.
Normally, when people are dealing with their weaknesses, they're sloppy about it, it's unwanted, treated like something of shame or dirty or unpleasant (which is true, but simply bc you're relating to it that way). But this divides the person against themselves & makes them a victim. And the oppressor is also them, but it's unconscious, so it also feels like there's no solution or a way out either.
It's about accepting who you are COMPLETELY & being whole - and getting great about being yourself. Selfmaxxing. Interestingly, this is actually a way to fit the world to yourself, instead of trying to fit yourself to the world - but this is a non-violent and actually successful way of doing that.
This requires the tough acceptance of the weakness being fully permanent for you. Paradoxically at first sight, if you accept this, it will change. If you can't accept this, it will stay the same. But if I try to accept it to change it, doesn't work - you can't fool it. Has to be genuine.
Etc etc long topic. Very important though
Doomscrolling is a black magic ritual. You lay in the same position. Turn off the lights, deeply focused on the feed. You’re shown memes, tragedies and “useful” information (it’s all slop) and before you know it you’re stuck in a trance. Your thumb moves without thought. You’re in flow but it’s artificially engineered by the dopamine loops the algo was built to trigger. You remember you have things to do but the black mirror pulls you in deeper by showing you something that stimulates you more. Before you know it, all your free time is gone. Every original idea you may have had is gone. You’re polluted with open loops and feel restless all the time. Every day you go to your altar (your bed), pull out your rosary (your ig feed) and you endlessly worship slop. Time blurs together and years have gone by yet you repeat the same pattern. Why? because you’ve never been taught how to engage with your own boredom, with your own pain, with your own discomfort. You resist it like it’s killing you, but what’s killing you is what you’ve turned into a part of your life (scrolling). It’s inverted. If you simply learned how to be courageous and face your immediate discomfort with pain and boredom. You’ll allow your natural wisdom and creativity to rise and begin living a life you truly want to live.
There's a reason you have to force yourself to train, study, work, or get up early, and someone else just does it. It's not that they have more discipline than you, and it's not willpower. The real reason is something else, and it's the part you never think to look at.
You're built in layers, from the outside in:
— what's around you
— what you do
— what you can do
— what you believe
— who you are
When you try to change, you go at the "what you do" layer. New routine, new alarm, new gym plan. But underneath that, the layer that decides who you are is still telling you "I'm lazy," or "I never stick to anything,". And when those two layers don't match, the bottom one wins. Not the alarm, not the discipline. What you believe about yourself beats whatever you're trying to force, and it drags you back to where you started.
The person who does it easily isn't fighting themselves every day. They don't hype themselves up, they don't watch a motivational video first, they're not forcing anything. They're just acting like who they already believe they are. Someone who trains, someone who works, someone who doesn't quit. There's nothing to fight, because they're only being themselves.
And that's the part you can use. When what you do comes from who you are, there's nothing to push against. You don't need willpower to shower or to make your coffee, because that's just part of being you. They did the same thing with the training and the early mornings, they made it part of who they are, until it stopped being a fight.
This comes from a concept in NLP called Logical Levels, created by Robert Dilts. The struggle you feel forcing yourself is what it feels like to go against who you are. The ease the other person has is what it feels like to go with it.
You can brainwash yourself into liking the gym, and the work you keep putting off. The people who do these things every day aren't forcing it. It feels easy to them, and you can do the same.
The thing stopping you usually isn't laziness. It's that the action feels heavy before you start. Your brain guesses how bad something will feel, and it guesses high, so the dread shows up before the gym does. But the dread isn't about the gym. It's about your brain's guess, and a guess can be changed. You change it by running the whole thing in your head first, in detail, before you do it for real. Walk through the action in your mind enough times, paired with a light and easy feeling, and your brain stops expecting misery.
There's a physical reason this works. When you vividly imagine moving, the same brain circuits that fire during real movement fire too, the signal travels almost all the way to your muscles, then gets cut off right before it moves them. Those circuits get stronger with repetition whether the reps are real or imagined. People who only imagined practicing piano ended up with nearly the same brain changes as the ones who actually played. So when you finally do the thing, it isn't foreign. You've done it before, in a way, so it's easier to do for real.
Here's how to actually do it.
Get in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Pick a trigger that already happens every day, like your alarm going off or closing your laptop at the end of a shift. Tying the new behavior to something that's already there is the part that matters most. Once the link is built, the alarm fires the behavior automatically, the same way a smell can drop you into a memory before you've decided anything.
Then run the action from inside your own eyes, not watching yourself from across the room.
For the gym: hear the alarm, feel yourself getting up before you can talk yourself out of it, your clothes going on, walking out to the car in the cold, the drive there, the gym door, the smell of the place. Then the weight in your hands, the bar, your breathing picking up, the burn in the middle of a set, and you just keep going.
For work: feel yourself sitting down at your desk, your coffee next to you, looking at the task without it feeling like too much, picking the first small piece, and starting it instead of reaching for your phone.
By the time you actually go, you've already done it in your head dozens of times, so it doesn't feel like starting from zero. The first move gets easier the more you run it.
So much bad advice that I need to comment here
1) Not true, I have friends at great hedge fund seats that makes a lot more than $500k/yr and work 50 hours per week
2) Also not true, many roles pay 100% cash, RSUs are rare in finance unless you stay in banking
3) Sure, luck matters, but don't adopt the victim mentality - be good and you'll make money
4) true to a very small degree, most investing roles that make $500k+ require 0 sales skills
Lesson, don't believe the slop people post on X