A lot of men claim not to understand how tapping current is sexual harassment until it is a gay man tapping their current.
Whenever you decide to wake up is your morning
my friend asked me if i had tips for how to move a convo past small talk
(of course i do!!!)
tips:
> there's nothing wrong with small talk - it serves an important purpose for feeling connected. but here's how to make a convo go deeper if that's what you crave
> the key is to find a thread worth pulling on
> you can use two elements: (1) asking good questions & (2) vulnerable sharing. the goal is to find a mutual interest so the convo starts flowing
> it's easier to achieve deep talks in environments that support it - like it'll be easier at a book club vs a party, or at a dinner vs a networking event.
> tailor your starting questions to the environment that you're in. here's some favorites I use:
at networking events:
- "what do you do for work" (standard question) but immediately follow up with "nice, how do you like it?"
> I love this one because if they like their job, they get a chance to tell you about their work. if they don't, you can ask what else they like working on. boom, immediately more interesting of a convo
at parties/events:
- there's a bunch of typical starting points - how they know the host, where they live, weekend plans, have they been to this event before
> the goal is to move as quickly as possible to an area of mutual interest so use guiding questions to get there!
good rules of thumb:
> don't just ask one question and move on... DIG DEEPER! if they mention a hobby, ask "how'd you get into that?" or "what do you love about it?"
> people drop interesting stuff about themselves ALL. THE. TIME. you just have to catch it & ask more. the magic is in showing genuine curiosity
> some people are more willing to go deep than others - that's okay!
> vulnerability invites vulnerability so feel free to share something personal about yourself first
> always follow the energy - see when someone gets light in their eyes about a topic; you know to lean in
small talk is just the starting point!
real friendship happens when you go deeper!!!
go have those deep talks!!!
i'm proud of you!!!