Maia Fran

[Maia Fran @maiafmazz]

Sorry Ted Bundy, you would've loved uber

[Maia Fran @maiafmazz]

What kind of meat is a Krabby Patty?

[hannah @crankhart]

Took my adderall

[Republicans against Trump @RpsAgainstTrump]

“The so-called Bishop”

If Trump weren't such a thin-skinned crybaby, he would ignore what the Bishop said and move on, but he can’t help himself.

Our so-called president is a national embarrassment

[Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @NotHoodlum]

Today, honor a King, not a Felon. #mlkday2025

[Apolitical @Apolitical3678]

A generation who inherited a country where a GED and 40 hours of work would provide a house for a family of four is telling their kids to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” when the exact same qualifications today won’t buy you a studio apartment.

It’s disgusting frankly

[Brad @BraddrofliT]

Trump did not attend the Biden inaugural ceremony—becoming the first outgoing president to not attend since Andrew Johnson in 1869.
So shut the fuck up about Michelle Obama not attending Trumps inauguration.

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

If you’re upset about Michelle Obama’s decision not to attend Donald Trump’s inauguration, wait until I tell you about the time Donald Trump refused to accept the results of the election he lost, plotted a coup & incited an insurrection before deciding not to attend Joe Biden’s.

[Matt Turck @mattturck]

“Yes I feel fully recharged after a restful holiday”

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

When Hillary lost, she conceded graciously and then went for a walk in the woods.

When Kamala lost, she conceded graciously and then got back work as our VP.

When Trump lost, he wouldn’t concede and then incited a deadly attack on our Capitol.

But yes, tell me more about how women are “too emotional” to lead, won’t you.

[Melanie D'Arrigo @DarrigoMelanie]

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb 23 years ago and we all still take our shoes off at the airport.

One failed attempt at violently overthrowing our country 4 years ago and we allow the guy who orchestrated it to be certified as President so he can do it again.

Disgraceful.

[Clement Lee, MD, MSc @ClementLeeMD]

Happy new year! I’m a pediatrician and this is a fabricated lie

[Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett]

one of the great joys in this life is looking at your pets weird little teeth

[🂱 @laylology]

When I say "my team" I mean my therapist in Brooklyn, my psychic upstate, every Taurus born between April 19-28, my gynocologist downtown, and my parents' elderly chihuahua

[Uncle Benzo (Reborn) @SobrietyField]

Bro u are at fucking megachurch, your priest is gonna flash his venmo qr code then fly off the stage into the smoke machine

[carol @vexleth]

omg elphaba is about to sing the 1

[Sank, MD @pagingdrsank]

Pregnancy isn’t safe because of racism and lack of abortion rights.
No universal paid parental leave.
Childcare costs more than rent.
No free school lunch.
Economy sucks, everyone is stressed&broke.
The world is literally crumbling before our eyes.

What do they expect???

[death angel @angel_0f_deathx]

“sydney sweeney is a catfish” sir if you cannot recognize that a blonde woman does not wake up with jet black eyelashes and face glitter then you might be too stupid to reach

[Warren Gunnels @GunnelsWarren]

Elon Musk Wealth
2012: $2 billion
2024: $447 billion

Jeff Bezos Wealth
2012: $18 billion
2024: $249 billion

Mark Zuckerberg Wealth
2012: $44 billion
2024: $224 billion

Federal Minimum Wage
2009: $7.25 an hour
2024: $7.25 an hour

5 words: Tax billionaires out of existence

[Grant Certiorari @GrantCertiorari]

I’m sorry but if Joe Biden referred to Justin Trudeau as Governor and Canada as a state we would be getting dozens of articles about how he’s senile and needs to resign