Maia

run wild 🧚🏼‍♀️

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Being extra dramatic while rubbing in the shop’s hand sanitiser, so everyone knows how thoroughly decent you are

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Have a happy and peaceful Easter. Don’t stray too far from the kettle x

🐣 ☕️

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“I hope this email finds you inside”

[Maia @maiparedes]

Plans for next week 🎉
1. Finish the 1000-piece puzzle
2. Grow my sourdough starter pet
3. Make pizza, using said sourdough pet
4. Maybe even some bread
5. Might give sourdough bagels a go too
6. Make a sourdough Pinterest board
6. Seek help

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Renaming things to feel more productive

Sitting- “Armchair yoga”
Watching telly- “Sitcom studies”
Eating toast- “Carb testing”
Whatsapping- “Thumb workout”
Scrolling- “Digital espionage”
Staring blankly- “Mind reboot”
Hand washing- “Virusbusting”
Staying in- “Heroic hibernation”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

British indoor exercise routines:

- 10 x biscuit to mouth curls
- 25 x Kettle 𝙱̶𝚎̶𝚕̶𝚕̶ lifts
- 200 x remote control clicks
- 50 x tea bag squeezes
- Take the bins out (with caution)
- Completely lying down plank
- Duvet change (only if feeling very energetic)

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

New household tasks to try:

-Mop the ceiling
-Dust the spiders
-Varnish the TV
-Re-bristle toothbrush
-Hug the fridge
-Stack two sofas to make a fort
-Hide things... then find them
-Bend all your spoons, claim you did it with your mind
-Peel an apple, clean peel, reattach peel

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Some handy safety tips if you’re considering going out socialising:

1. Don’t

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Brits in a restaurant:

“Where would you like to sit?”
“Oh anywhere”
“Do you like facing out or...”
“I don’t mind facing out or in”
“Ok let’s just sit anywhere”
“Okay”
“Is the sun in your eyes?”
“Yes but it’s fine”
“We can swap?”
“Don’t be silly... actually yeah would you mind?”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Being unable to break away from a tea break chat without saying "right, better do some work I suppose"

[Maia @maiparedes]

@whattheel Hi El, any chance these are still available? It's for an anniversary present which will be much appreciated :)

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"Good weekend?"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, not bad thanks, you?"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah...."

[the artidote @TheArtidote]

Don’t lose yourself just because you found somebody. -Anonymous #NoteToSelf

artwork by Adan Fajar Maruciel

[Maia @maiparedes]

Part II #CursedChild @HPPlayLDN

[Maia @maiparedes]

Queued up for #CursedChild 😱@HPPlayLDN

[Maia @maiparedes]

Finally seeing @HPPlayLDN today! I can still remember the three-hour wait for tickets last year #CursedChild

[the artidote @TheArtidote]

The fact that someone loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself. —Sahaj Kohli

Manuel Esthaem

[the artidote @TheArtidote]

I found I was more confident when I stopped trying to be someone else’s definition of beautiful and started being my own. -Remington Miller

[Maia @maiparedes]

Being a sad lonely bunny today, at least funny kitten pictures are making me smile 🐱