malcolm

I sing songs for PinkyBoy. ACAB

[malcolm @malcwho]

I’ll see a pretty girl in public and be like dang she’s cute maybe I should talk to her. Then she pulls out a laptop and starts doing whatever beautiful business lady’s do and I think to myself “ aahhh dang she’s out of my league”

[ant @pcstandfor]

I dont play bout food & drugs Them pose To be free on earth pretty much

[malcolm @malcwho]

I tell people I’m you when I do bad things.

[malcolm @malcwho]

@divisixx They sure got a lot less to say face to face! So def don’t be scared.

[malcolm @malcwho]

Do ladybugs eat old houses? Every year as spring happens more and more lady bugs come literally out of the wood work. I’m not complaining but there is also a large number of jumping spiders. Does the house have termites or are the bugs just for fun?

[malcolm @malcwho]

@riskylew @sweetsisterjane

[malcolm @malcwho]

Can you make a group chat that once you add people to it they can never leave it but they also can never reply or post to the things you say? Just trapped at the mercy of your thoughts. Cuz that would be a good thing I think. Maybe an app?

[malcolm @malcwho]

Yesterday I made some tuna. ate the tuna. thought to myself I can’t even remember buying mayo? Check date. Best before 2023. Then my eyes turned into this one 👀 and I thought dang it.

[John Delmenico @thebigjohnnyd]

You're laughing? A cop testified under oath that he does not know if Afroman fucked his wife, and you're laughing?

[malcolm @malcwho]

“It’s a time saver” I’m trying to kill time

[malcolm @malcwho]

PALentines and shrooms nice hang with the bros. We watched Columbo for hours on daytime tv

[malcolm @malcwho]

Today has been stress since 4 am
#AAHHHH #🔫🔫🔫

[malcolm @malcwho]

Employees must hit vape before returning to work

[malcolm @malcwho]

You must eves drop in public. How else would I hear this old ass lady described her also old, now ex friend as “not even having the balls to talk to her”

[Smiling Ghost @PhrygianWeaver]

You call this beast mode? I suppose a shrew or a vole is a sort of beast.

[HORROR @Ho99o9]

Horror merch for your winter / summer, after dark schemes, Christmas holidays, illegal activity, & dog walks :

https://t.co/ovsAU6PTVk

[geo @shadoweave1]

Just remember son, asking for things makes you a bad person, and loving someone makes you a monster

[chance @chanceposts]

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using chatgpt for anything

[Sheep girl ΘΔ 🐑 @CursedWood]

hosting a matrix party and all my friends come in wearing goth latex and trench coats and i’m playing VR chat in my bathtub covered in slime