Mallory Fitzsimonds

DuPont Manual 2012, Belmont University 2016, Αlpha Gamma Delta

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@katsfacts But it’s an egg yolk 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@CrumblCookies

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@CrumblCookies

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

I sort of understand the witch in Hansel and Gretel. Babies really do smell so good that you want to eat them up

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

Sometimes I look at my son and think he’s the cutest thing on the earth. And I don’t even think I’m being biased. Like really, how do I submit him for cutest baby?

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@laurenmcotton It’s coming! #27dayoldnewborn and we’re down to laundry every other day 😅

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

How does one acquire friends with a pool without saying all you really want is unlimited access to the pool?

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

All these people getting really into numbers today, and it’s like excuse you math is my thing #Twosday #actuary

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@katsfacts I watched it with Zack and said if this is actually a sad movie then we’re turning it off, and he still made me watch the whole thing 😭

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@emily_snyder23 Can confirm flights are not free 🥲

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

They make fun of us for a side part when we literally had tools to make a zig zag...

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@emily_bickel94 @Valvoline This is simultaneously the best and worst thing I’ve ever heard 😂

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@emily_bickel94 I was just cracking up at that email 😂

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@emily_bickel94 It’s okay. Big Phil came through for me lol

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

My boyfriend doesn’t appreciate Qdoba, so who’s trying to be my Valentine’s date this year? #Qdobaforakiss

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@emily_bickel94 What? Do you not like hallmark movies or something...?

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@emily_bickel94 @DWICKER7 NOTE TAKEN

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@emily_bickel94 Wowowowowow

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@Peddings7 You write that ROL?

[Mallory Fitzsimonds @mallory528]

@emily_bickel94 Why should that matter? Candy corn’s the worst.