Mallory Luscombe

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

@boomer9191 Literally what Matt had an issue with as well!

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

Michie winning Big Brother like.... @CBSBigBrother #sadsally

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

Nothing more Canadian than eating Alberta steak and Atlantic lobster in the CN tower wearing a Jays jersey #canada

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

First blue jays game!! #cometogether #bluejays @BlueJays

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

“Oh bother! I’m all out of hunny,” said Winnie the Pooh. “But bears are omnivores,” he added, leveling his gaze at Piglet.

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

@boomer9191 @kimfriess who doesn't like curves

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

@kimfriess and what about those duck penises? #craycray

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

I know this happened a while ago but...damn I wish Pluto was still a planet. #poorlittleguy #justfeelbad #demotion

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

I wanna learn the bagpipes!! @breannebla8

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

Oh yes Subway is healthy. Could I just have an entire loaf of bread slathered in sauce & cheese? #fuckujared #eatfortheyum #wontmakeuskinny

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

I legit just got deer blood all over my moccasins #justlikemyancestorsdo

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

@kimfriess @DrScienceCat ha what a quack. We may share a name but we are certainly birds of a different feather

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

"Aw for fuck sakes the god damned bacon" - my mother Christmas morning. #wholsomefamily

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

"If someone tries to take my waffle maker I'll take my fucking life"

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

“@SmallTwnProbs: Your town tries to be famous for something ridiculous #smalltownproblems #bigskies #murals @breannebla8 #redpaperclips?

[Women's Humor @womenshumor]

It's scary how easily a "smoky eye" can turn into a "murdered hooker in an alleyway".

[Nurse Problems @Nurse_Problems]

Yes creeper, I am married, I just don't want C diff in my ring. #nurseproblems

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

"Let's sleep upside down in bed - it'll be like we're camping!" #marriedlifeadventures

[Mallory Luscombe @malloryluscombe]

Waffle fries are like water. Life source.