malzo

retweeting into the void, makin’ comics/quilts/misc stuff, slingin’ coffee

[malzo @malzomurphy]

@beyoncegarden @Beyonce Once in maybe Teen People, a million years ago, I remember her saying she always tried to wash her makeup off before bed, no matter how tired. I have definitely have washed my face For Beyoncé since. Also that mascara was better when it wasn’t brand new. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[malzo @malzomurphy]

@MavenOfMayhem when I do this with regulars at the coffee shop I’m like “listen, if you were running the long con for years over a small coffee with almond milk, color me impressed”

[malzo @malzomurphy]

@PallaviGunalan

[malzo @malzomurphy]

@InternetHippo I frequently use “Good luck out there!” or “Have fun” when I’m barista-ing

[𝚘𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚏𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 𓆗 @yearofthepoets]

my 6yo and i witnessed people fighting at the store and she looks over at me at goes “this is the last time i come to earth”

[Willie Ip @ipWillieip]

how New Yorkers soft launch their new GF

[te @phatasstiger]

Life really is like this

[Wesley @WesleyBout]

This would be the craziest way to find out John Lennon is still alive

[With A Martyr Complex (5 Ruins Excavated) @MartyrWith]

In the age of cell phones, the area code has become the ancestral clan name or heraldry. It is a marker of old stories, loyalties, a statement that says "there was a land I came from but am there no longer"

[Sopranos World @SopranosWorld]

Your reminder that society already peaked and this is what it looked like

[malzo @malzomurphy]

@RYoshi4prezGH I sure did!! 💀

[malzo @malzomurphy]

@goosonesq @nameshiv I have a standing order on weekends with a regular who gets 16 oz of espresso shots in a cup. She sips at it throughout the week. I’d also believe she’s a magical creature.

[hasherezade @hasherezade]

- where do you see yourself in 30+ years?
me:

[Michael Tannenbaum @iamTannenbaum]

five tickets for the Barbie movie

[Jake the cat @hupstory]

furbidden romance

[SonicFacts™ @SonicFactsTM]

Sonic enjoys lasagna too but he doesn’t feel the need to make it his whole personality

[Grover @Grover]

It is I, Grover, looking for a summer job. My past experiences include stage manager, waiter, camp counselor, magician, hot dog vendor, detective, dog walker, doctor, wig salesperson, paleontologist...