Armanda

Uncensored since '91. Scientist. Jedi Master. Cpt. America’s Wife. Girl and Boy Mom.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

05.25.2019

[Armanda @mandoroy]

NEVER order from @nyandcompany. Their customer service is TERRIBLE. They sent me the completely incorrect dress & are expecting ME to pay $10 to return their mistake. You can’t get a human on the line & the help email doesn’t get back to you. The AI generated responses are a joke

[Armanda @mandoroy]

I think the most annoying thing about losing weight postpartum is knowing id fit into my pre-baby jeans if it wasn’t for my saggy belly skin. Anyone know how to get that to “snap back”?

[Armanda @mandoroy]

Dear delivery services. Unless you need me to sign for something, don’t you dare knock or ring my doorbell. Clearly the dog is letting me know about your presence. No need to alert the house. Signed, a mom of 2 under two.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

Anytime my neighbor wants to stop doing things directly outside of my kids room during naptime. That would be great. And before anyone calls me a Karen, he’s mowed his lawn EVERY DAY specifically outside of their windows, for the past 2 weeks. It’s annoying in general.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

With someone blasting music in my neighborhood and praying my kids stay asleep… I’m understanding more and more how “The Karen” comes to be. 🤦‍♀️ like come onnnnnn

[Armanda @mandoroy]

@AmazonHelp It was a big Amazon truck with a driver with your blue vest on that said Amazon. Past 8pm.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

I can’t believe I have to write in my delivery instructions on @amazon to NOT ring someone’s doorbell at 8:30pm… thanks for waking up my two kids.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

There has to be an easier and faster way to dry curly hair than using a diffuser on low settings…

[Armanda @mandoroy]

I’ve gone down the Little Tikes custom DIY projects… and now I’m searching in the local Buy Sell Trade groups for whatever I can get my hands on 🤦‍♀️

[Armanda @mandoroy]

@AmazonHelp A completely demolished brush was just delivered to my house. So either it was broken in the warehouse and someone thought “yeah. I’ll ship this” or your delivery driver punted and curb stomped it onto my porch.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

@amazon like, this is a joke, right? This has to be a joke.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

Got in the car and my phone started playing “Digital Get Down” by N*SYNC and I feel like that’s the energy I need to take into the weekend.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

The devil works hard, and Kris Jenner works harder, but it seems that Andy Cohen is out performing them both this year!

[Armanda @mandoroy]

Who knew asking for 20 mins alone while being a mother of two under two was such a challenging thing to ask for…

[Armanda @mandoroy]

Is “The Idol” just a way to get The Weeknd’s music out… is he also supposed to be Kanye in this? Because it’s giving strong Kanye vibes.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

I just want to say to the women who lose the baby weight quickly or don’t have to deal with excess, stretched out skin … 🖕🏼.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

My 17 month old daughter sings when she wakes up in the morning and I have to say it’s one of the sweetest sounds. I’m going to be so sad when she grows out of this phase.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

Leo was laughing and smiling today at 6 weeks old. I can’t wait to see what his little personality will be like! Giada’s showed fairly quickly and hasn’t changed.

[Armanda @mandoroy]

So, I’ve been going through the week basically with tunnel vision while working out because I thought one of my contacts was drastically off (my right eye was super blurry,left was fine)… turns out I just had them in the wrong eyes .. my astigmatism contact was in the wrong eye

[Armanda @mandoroy]

But is it even maternity leave if you and all your kids are crying at the same time at least once a day? #2Under2