Enoch Lovestarling

Feel my breath on your face.

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

Bruce springs teen from jail who happens to be Woody Harrel son. They both escape together and catch a greyhound bus to Keifer Suther Land.

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

@billwurtz https://t.co/EMnDDIrsUj

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

*clings to pizza like it's a lifeboat

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

Ever notice how your frying pan is always there for you and Janet isn't....FUCK YOU JANET!!!

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

How can you say you caught a sasquatch masturbating to Mongolian throat music...You just can't and that should be enough Toby...

This is an intervention!

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

*your

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

Ever notice how past life regresionists never tell you you're ancestors were village idiots and such.

We can't all have royal lineage Darlene!

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

My entire existence is an internet life hoax.

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

The hardest thing about having sex with a conspiracy theory enthusiast is the tin foil condoms.

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

Favstar = illuminati

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

Bat shit is quite sane and I'm actually offended you keep using the reference.

[Face on your Egg! 🥚 @goontit]

There used to be a hidden agenda, now its just a very obvious agenda.

[Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈 🇺🇦 @craiguito]

The fashion for shortening names of dishes like Spag Bol is probably why my Catalan Shitake Paella never took off

[The Dad @thedad]

Son: why do we have eggs at Easter?
Me: the egg symbolizes the rock that trapped Jesus in the tomb
Son: so why do we have an easter bunny?
Me: because bunnies lay eggs
Son: no they fucken don’t you idiot

[B.I.L.F. Hunter @BILF_Hunter]

Look both ways before you fuck a sheep.

[B.I.L.F. Hunter @BILF_Hunter]

All these Snapchat filters that make sexy ladies look like sexy cats and sexy puppies make me want to fuck cats and puppies.

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

Do you think some people get in to veterinary medicine just so they can legally fist large quadrapeds?

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

I made a duck in Photoshop and now I'm a graphic designer

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

I did the https://t.co/ytqPGIG13y DNA test and I'm 30 percent Romanian wank sock

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

If you ever use the phrase "throw shade" I hope you get electrocuted