B.I.L.F. Hunter

I follow bears. Then I seduce them and make sweet love to them.

[Johnny Castle @BlueDream_2008]

It's after 4am. I'm in a rabbit hole.

[B.I.L.F. Hunter @BILF_Hunter]

ACTOR: How many donkeys do I have to fuck to get an audition for this show???

DIRECTOR: Umm, just that one you are currently fucking. You got the job. You’re in the show!!!

ACTOR: I’m gonna call my mo-

DONKEY SHOW DIRECTOR: No don’t do that. Wait until after the show. Thanks.

[Bob Heller @Bob_Heller]

If Michael Vick were right-handed, he could’ve fucked and personally beat a baby seal and still could’ve been considered for the NFL Hall of Fame. Discuss.

[The Straight of Whore Moose @kidnapped_jesus]

How to take care of dogs:

• Feed them when they're hungry
• Water them when they're thirsty
• Wash them when they're dirty
• Show them lots of affection
• Fuck them when they're horny
• Give them treats for being good
• More petting and belly rubs

[Mr Horse @ln0217]

Back off, I'm not that kind of horse

[tom @pilau]

Who called it having sex with a deer and not fawnication

[B.I.L.F. Hunter @BILF_Hunter]

@LoveNLunchmeat @Bob_Heller 😍

[B.I.L.F. Hunter @BILF_Hunter]

I wanna bang like three of the cats in CATS

[Air Bud Dwyer @kDuncanG]

*rating every dog at the pound today as "barely fuckable"*

[That Pesky Prostitüt™ @LittleMissAngr1]

If the Easter Bunny didn't manscape this year I'm not blowing him.

[B.I.L.F. Hunter @BILF_Hunter]

@Bob_Heller Will you send his and its t-shirts?

https://t.co/ByK6OuCJ9y

[B.I.L.F. Hunter @BILF_Hunter]

I love animals. So I love rodeos. There the animals are kept in small stalls, so if you have a bucket to stand on, you can easily fuck them.

[Woody B @Woody_B_]

Blow fish are also known as the flesh light of the sea to mermen.

[Bob Heller @Bob_Heller]

“... well, it takes a village.”

“Indeed. It takes a village to fuck a mule-“

“WHAT? It takes a village...to raise... a child.”

“Adults. Children. Everybody. That mule is getting fucked and getting the rest of the week off his mule duties it’s the holidays.”

“WH’AAT HOLIDAYS?”

[B.I.L.F. Hunter @BILF_Hunter]

I went on Ambien and fucked a goat to death. Do not defend it.

[🇺🇸Frank Whítehouse 🇺🇸 @WheelTod]

In my experience, a guy who would refer to an attractive woman as a "fox" becomes surprisingly reticent once an actual fox starts trying to have sex with him.

[Bob Kostic @causticbob]

What do you call a hamster covered in cum?

I'll let the kids choose on the way back from this dodgy pet store.

#NationalPetDay

[Enoch Lovestarling @ManVsPuppet]

Do you think some people get in to veterinary medicine just so they can legally fist large quadrapeds?

[Bog Hag @FauxFawx]

can't get this turtle to suck my dick right