Mark Middleton

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

Trying to watch the new @JackRyanMovie #ghostwar
30 minutes in. Don’t bother, sienna millers character has ruined it.

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

@SW_Help I’d like to report a near miss at motspur park station tonight on the late running 21:23 towards dorking

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

Me: it’s date night. Can we take the paddle board home and bring it back in the morning?

Waitress: erm, I’m not sure about that

Mrs: you fucking idiot (to me)

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

I can’t believe worker Rudy actually threatened my children prior to going on the water ride at @watermouthcastle on our first visit ever #shitcustomerservice

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

Just used the escalator at Liverpool Street when some old bint elbowed me whilst I was walking passed. I’m sure it was an accident but She then had the cheek to ask me for an apology!
Fuck off!

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

There’s a pregnant woman who has just got on the tube. What if I offer her my seat and she’s not pregnant🤔🤷🏽‍♂️

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

I had a dream about my Mrs last night.
Was absolutely gutted this morning when I woke up and she looked like absolutely nothing like my dream Mrs.

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

@SW_Help please can you remove the woman working in the ticket office at wcp (14/12/24@1550) she completely ignored a passenger asking for help and was only interested in selling him a ticket that he had already purchased.
She couldn’t even sell me the right ticket!!

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

@RandomTheGuy_ @juliethardt Wow, where can I get me one of her??? Hope he appreciates her

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

YESSSSSS got the awesome tube driver taking my train (06:40 Wimbledon-Edgware) his announcements really make my day @TfL #deservesabonus

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Cat doodles
https://t.co/Y2jVbQV1tZ

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Parrots are among the smartest of all birds.

They can communicate with a vocabulary of more than 500 human words and mimick several sounds.

This is Cosmo immitating water noises.
https://t.co/KyUzIVSfeC

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

@crystalski Thanks for replying

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

@crystalski sadly I didn’t manage to catch the coach driver completing his paperwork on the move. I guess he knows how to multi task.

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

@crystalski The rep😂😂😂😂 all we got out of Becky was ‘sorry I can’t, I’ll go over my hours’

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

@ladbible Fractured eyelash

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

Thanks to the guard on the 07:47 wcp to wim for letting me on. Really appreciate it. @SW_Help #awesome

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

Who’s got the more savage humour?

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

@TfL

[Mark Middleton @mark1em]

The district line driver on the 09:30 from Earls-court to Edgware is absolutely amazing. He made everyone smile with his PA announcements. Deserves recognition. @DistrictLine “#respect #doyourting”