mark ferrera

[Phillies Tailgate @PhilsTailgate]

FINAL: Phillies 5, Nationals 4!!

The Nationals Bullpen strikes again!

[Philadelphia Phillies @Phillies]

DO YOU GET DÉJÁ VU

[Matt Gelb @MattGelb]

Kyle Schwarber has hit two balls a total 913 feet in the third inning. Mercy.

[Skylar Romines @skylarromines]

@yoamomonstruos Americans truly believe they have a chance at anything. That’s a feature not a bug

[Crisco L. Francisco @chrispfranc1s]

“And it appears that… yes, he’s falling asleep while she’s calling a cab…”

[l feII in Dior @LIRIO_AG]

“Ay no, tarjeta gris otra vez”.

[Football360.com.au @football360au]

USA media think the Socceroos will be easy beats at the World Cup. Cam Burgess is keeping receipts 🧾🇦🇺

[Ryan Estabrooke @EstaRyan12]

My favorite part about this tweet is, this dog is now, forever immortalized. Every time the owner sees this tweet even after he’s gone, it will be a fond memory.

[Brett Kollmann @BrettKollmann]

“Oh Balogun is just playing for the U.S. because he couldn’t make the England squad”…Folks, that is the entire promise of our nation.

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.

And then we’ll beat your ass with them.

[Grace Marlowe @graceofthecurls]

Algerians doing jigs in Kansas... Brits eating barbecue in Texas... Koreans doing full on kegstands in Mexico... just goes to show that the entire world can be united by the simple concept of getting really drunk and watching a sporting event

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn’t hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we’re told to fight about:

Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.

That’s the joke.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Cactuscali19912 Stephen Miller is an ugly fuck.

[Philadelphia Eagles @Eagles]

Happy Pride Month 🏳️‍🌈

[Democrats @TheDemocrats]

@StephenM shut up you ugly fuck

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

The Eagles Autism Challenge raised more than $16 million today for innovative autism research and care programs, thanks to 6,832 participants and nearly 40,000 donations worldwide. One hundred percent of the participant-raised funds will be invested in groundbreaking research being conducted around the globe and in community grants for area-based organizations.

[ArtButMakeItSports @ArtButSports]

Martyrdom of Saint Simon Zelotes, Saint Judas Thaddeus, by Martin Johann Schmidt, 1796