Mark Rasmussen

Marketer, musician and the scariest thing you've ever seen on the dance floor

[Josh @joshpearson180]

At a baseball game last night

Absolutely superb, top shithousery 🤣

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@JonathanPieNews Saw you in Canterbury this week, bravo. Keep being insufferable please!

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@TheRealFlups Late to the party, your post came up as a recommendation via email...

What the actual f? You're not a "daft bint", I have a few descriptives for Porsche man though...

I'm so glad I'm in a wonderful long term relationship, I don't think I could deal with 21st century dating x

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@caitlinmoran Is it me has it suddenly got warm in here?

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@ShappiKhorsandi I vote this is your new profile picture, for everything, forever! 😍

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@marcusbrig The best? Definitely he’s up there. His anecdote about Noel Coward catching him washing his behind on a po cracks me up every time…

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@NicolaSturgeon @JaneyGodley I’m not Scottish but have the utmost respect for you @NicolaSturgeon and LOVE the way you embraced the equally amazing @JaneyGodley!
Good luck in all you do 👍

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@LouSanders You are adorably strange.

I’m certainly old enough to remember salad cream as a dressing but an ingredient? Really?

I must have missed that episode of Delia Smith…

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@CliffW8 Why on earth should @JonathanPieNews have to moderate his language? His followers enjoy his act as a frothing at the mouth journalist barking at the ridiculousness of what he has to report. It is a fabulous satire on the media and modern times and many of us love it.

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@mrmarksteel I’m sure that if you had typed your post in all capitals “BANANAS AND CUSTARD WILL BE BANNED BY BRUSSELS” whilst frothing at the mouth, then yes, maybe a touch Brexity.

Enjoying a simple dish, be it bananas and custard or beans on toast etc. rather than flans or foie gras is OK

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@KerryAGodliman We had a blast when we saw you in Chatham… try if you can to rise above this troll comment always flung at comedians-without-a-penis.

I’m sure it must be pretty wearing but focus on the fact that so many of us come out to see you and have a great time! x

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@katenash Ah, tune!

Alternatives to “bittaaaah”…

…eat so many lemons…

Because you smell like cif

Because you’re sour

Your complexion has changed to bright yellow and waxy

I bought enough to make a lemon drizzle cake and there’s only one left…

Good luck rhyming these!

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@MonicaLewinsky Great article. I loved all 25 but 2, 4, 16 and 19 jumped out…

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@MonicaLewinsky I worry that’s me sometimes… I guess being aware how much I ramble on is the first stage of my cure? 😳

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@LucyABeaumont There are so many great choices people have mentioned however:

The Godfather
Annie Hall
A selection of the better Carry On films - if you’re a fan, you’ll know which ones they are!
The Three/Four Musketeers - Michael York, Oliver Reed, Richard Chamberlain and Frank Findlay 👌

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@ingridoliver100 I was going to reply “we other brothers can’t deny”, but I’m realising that it’s 20 years old and I still think I’m “with it”.

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@tonyellis69 @SamuelWRoberts I miss you Ellis!

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@VictoriaCoren To find double entendres in such wholesome headlines is deplorable. You are my kind of people ❤️ S’cuse me whilst I wow visitors with my display… I can only hope it smells as good as it looks!

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@ShappiKhorsandi My “white British” includes 1/16 Danish (check the “Rasmussen” surname) 1/16 Jewish (apparently, it was hard to get my grandparents to talk about illegitimacy) and 7/8 “who knows?”. We can all be a mixture, regardless of which box we tick on a form!

[Mark Rasmussen @markflyingv]

@marcusbrig Then make your own dear @marcusbrig - a chance for endless experimentation. There is (slightly) more to life than cheese…