So I understand the feeling to replace Coach Jimbo Fisher but I also am questioning who the replacement would possibly be? Challenging situation. #GigEm
This hit me hard:
"20 years from now, the only people who will remember that you worked late are your kids."
The responses hit me even harder:
"The graveyard is full of 'irreplaceable' and 'important' people."
"I don’t remember what I was working on, I can’t tell you why it was important. But I can tell you how my not being there made my kids feel."
But I am of two minds here:
1. Being present with your kids is the most important thing.
2. Having your kids see you work hard with a clear purpose is a principle they'll remember forever.
It's easy to focus on the first point and lose sight of the second.
Understanding, navigating, and balancing the tension across the two is how I believe you ultimately "win" the game.
The reality is that not everyone has the luxury of building a life where they are going to be constantly present with their kids.
Some have to work two jobs or long hours to provide for them.
Some are working long hours to build towards some ambitious future.
Focus on what you can control:
1. Include your kids in the WHY: Make sure they know why you're working hard, why you're away, and why it's important.
2. When you're around, be present: Say yes to play and give them your full energy and attention. Time and energy are not the same thing. Your energy is what counts.
My dad's ability to navigate the tension is something I will always remember:
I saw him work extremely hard on things that lit him up intellectually, while never allowing them to consistently get in the way of what was most important to him (his family).
He would come home for dinner, play catch with me outside, then work late once I went to bed.
When he did have to miss dinners or games, I always felt connected because he took the time to explain the things he was excited about—why he was working hard on them and what he hoped to achieve with them.
I always felt included in the WHY and I always felt his energy and presence when he was around.
My dad controlled the controllable. I am forever grateful for it.
The entire narrative of work-life balance is flawed:
It's less about balance, more about harmony.
It's about how your work can flourish within the context of your entire life—how you can include your kids in the journey, how work and life can support each other (rather than fight each other).
In the end, I'd distill it down to three key points:
1. Ask better questions.
2. Embrace the imperfection.
3. Act according to your values.
If you can do that, you'll stay in the game long enough to win.