Mark Hurtado

Comedy writer/performer

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Nightmare Before Christmas? That movie from all the bartender tattoos?

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Fun facts however, do care about your feelings.

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Golden Corral has a weirdly conservative clientele for how socialist their restaurant is.

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Damn, gas prices entering beef jerky territory.

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Y'all dudes flipping tires in the gym are doing it wrong THEY ROLL.

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Damn 50 Cent looking like a whole dollar. #SuperBowl

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

@drt_entertain aye what do have to do to get American Head Charge's The feeding on Spotify?

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

"If you don't have haters you're doing it wrong".

Y'all that phrase only applies to careers with media attention. If you work at like a Nissan dealership or something you might just suck.

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

@AuxVox what do we have to do to get The Feeding on Spotify my dude? I LOVE that album.

[Samantha Barber: Lethal Protector @gynoidprincess]

David Dastmalchian adopted a stray cat who approached him during the filming of The Suicide Squad in Panama, and costume designer Judiana Makovsky sewed a little Polka Dot Man outfit for the cat, named Bubblegum.

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

I stand with Simone Biles. I was asked to do a cartwheel once and was like nahhh. #Simone #SimoneBiles

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Ok if we're getting an MKU then we have a PERFECT Bo Rai Cho waiting for us (Sammo Hung) #MortalKombat #MortalKombatMovie

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Tell your kids they can't read the racist Dr. Seuss books till they finish the clean ones.

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

@dredg any chance of releasing Leitmotif on Spotify? Movement 2 is like one of my favorite songs of all time.

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

@AHC_Official hey any plans to put The Feeding on Spotify? Love that album.

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Get a free Vote Emote and Avatar and help the Brawlhalla community be heard November 3rd: https://t.co/SF4ror1fPT

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

Wow, WAP might be the dirtiest song I've heard about Wireless Access Points. #WAPMusicVideo

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

The earthquake might be a 4.2 but I thought it had a lot of heart and is worth the watch. #earthquake

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

*ER door kicks open

EMT: "We gotta guy who took over 20 grams of mushrooms".

Doctor: "My god. Nurse! Get this man a playlist"

[Mark Hurtado @markxmind]

I'd love a cover of Marilyn Manson's Sweet Dreams but like a fun 80's British pop version.