Rhiana Maidenberg

You can't reason with crazy, nor toddlers.

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Ahh.. Finally alone in bed. Now i finally cam have some quality time with my true love. #candycrush

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Happy pride!

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

I love watching busytown. My kids think I'm so smart when I solve the mystery before Huckle

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Finally the Supreme Court agrees with my toddler- "To make a family, all you need is love."

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

In reality the "5 min warning" at the playground can last anywhere from 30 seconds to 45 min.

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Yesterday I paid $20 for my 6 yo's artwork and $80 for a chair painted by her class. #ElementaryParentProblems

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Last night I had a dream that my husband had lice and then used my pillow. #PreschoolParentProblems

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Spending the morning as SFUSD #PTA officer training. It's almost as exciting as watching a 4-hr Blues Clues marathon

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Husband totally nailed Mother's Day! It's 10 am and I haven't seen another living being yet!

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Happy Mother's Day to all the new moms! Your new baby is totally worth the loss of your boobs and vagina.

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Just spent 45 min cleaning the car. "Ok guys, how long can we keep it this way?" "Hours," replies the 6 yo.

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

While helping paint Mothers Day portraits at preschool: "What color is your mommy's hair?" "Black with a lot of white."

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

@wearychef perfection!

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Watching live police chases is almost better than Bravo!

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

@wearychef Try this one. I made it for her second birthday.

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

So excited to start our long deserved childless vacation. Damn it- there's a whining baby seated directly behind me.

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

In the past 48 hours both children have told me they hate me. I'm totally winning this parenting gig!

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

4 yo refused to get dressed or eat breakfast, then extensively complained that she was cold and hungry. #NoSympathy

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

Some days I look at my children and wonder if they are totally insane.

[Rhiana Maidenberg @marriedwtoddler]

"Mommy, let's play Dora. You can be Backpack, since you carry everything."